Were We Trying for a Girl?

𝘞𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨. ⁣

We were not trying for a girl.

Would we have loved a girl? Yes, just as we will our third boy. To be honest, I did not 100% have a preference either way. 

The way I saw it: We already had boys so a girl would be cool and different, and would allow us the experience of having a daughter and to raise an empowered young girl… however, I only know what being a mom to boys is like, and I also know very well that being a girl and woman in this world is full of unique complexities and obstacles. 

I have been fortunate to have a healthy mother-daughter relationship with my mom, so I know it’s special but I also see the special and unique relationship she and my brother have so I’ve witnessed firsthand that moms and boys share something special, too.

Quite frankly, when people would ask me if we were going to “try for a girl” (that phrase makes me cringe), I would respond that we’ll be trying for another baby, and would be just as happy if I wound up with four boys (something deep down tells me that could be our future lol).  

I know sometimes we have external and/or internal pressures placed upon us to have kids of certain sexes (boy/girl, brothers, sisters)… but as a mom, I don’t know anything but the love of my boys. How could I wish for anything else?

Besides, what does their sex really matter? My boys are loving and sweet. They love cars and trucks, and play with dolls. (Did you know research has shown that doll play can provide “a unique opportunity for children to practice social interactions important for developing social-emotional skills, such as empathy“?)

As a mom, my hopes of raising kind + compassionate, emotionally intelligent + resilient kids doesn’t depend on their sex.

Neither do my dreams for them.

Neither does my love for them.

I hope to be lucky enough to live a long lifetime with them. And most of all, I’m happy as long as they’re healthy + happy.

That’s what matters most to me as their mama. I’m confident it’s what truly matters to most, if not all, of us mamas.