Moments of Musing

The Real Military Wives of Blogland

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  Mal Smiles 
 
For those of you who don’t know, Tim and I met in Las Vegas on January 14, 2011. I was still in law school and he’d just returned from a deployment out to sea. At the time, he was stationed in Norfolk so we saw each other frequently. He PCS’ed to Hawaii later that year and I was heartbroken but we’ve made it work to our advantage. I’ve been to visit multiple times, even briefly living there while awaiting my bar results. Luckily, I passed! And then it was on to Chicago for my job, where Tim will join me in a few short months. 

I wish people realized that there is no cookie cutter military significant other. Not all are married young, give up their careers, move to be with their spouses, etc. As is my case, a lawyer can be with an enlisted military member. And it’s an honor regardless of his rank. Due to my career as an attorney, I didn’t want to move to Tim. Sure, the nights can be lonely and I’m often missing my other half but I am okay. I’m more than okay because I’m genuinely happy with where my life is at. And I can do this distance–I’ve done it for years. It’s become our “normal.” 

 
Our FINAL Countdown: Since last week, we’ve gotten down to double digits {approximately, because nothing to do with the military is definite until it happens} until Tim and I live together, down from the thousands of days we’ve spent apart!


Most people wouldn’t guess that I’m even in a military relationship because my life is far from what they’d “expect” that of a military spouse’s to be, and I’m kind of okay with that. It’s nice not to fit into a stereotype–I’ve never been one to like being lumped into a category. I like that we {aside from the long distance} live a pretty normal life together. 

It’s always tough to answer how I do it, though, because I don’t know that answer. I do it because I want to and because I choose to–while also not really having a choice if I want to be with the man I love. It sounds confusing, I know. Not moving permanently to Hawaii was a choice we made together but the fact that he must stay put elsewhere for a certain amount of time is not a choice–that’s a requirement of his military contract. Being in a military relationship is multi-faceted and has its challenges but I also can’t think of a better reward than being reunited with the one you love after 205 days apart due to deployment. 

Tim and I are currently getting down to the wire of his transition out of Active Duty and into Active Reserves and civilian life. This transition has included so many big decisions–decisions that even at the age of 25 feel more adult for me than I can handle without freaking out at times. But I guess life isn’t exciting nor productive if you’re not doing things that don’t scare you (in a good way), right? 

I’m more than ready for this new chapter of our lives together. If there’s one thing the military life has taught me it’s resilience, especially during times of change.

 

About Jacqueline Hernandez Lewis

Featured on Associated Press as a trailblazing Latina influencer and on Parents as a Latina mom to follow, Jacqueline Hernandez Lewis is a writer and content creator celebrating womanhood, motherhood and humanity. She also works for a NYC nonprofit dedicated to preventing domestic violence and promoting gender justice. Of all her roles, mom and wife are her favorite.

Comments

  2. Katie

    Hi Jackie! I've visiting from the link-up today! I am a firm believer that separation during relationships just makes the bond THAT much stronger! It can be so hard, but it is always such a sweet reunion. It makes the time together special and we are less likely to take it for granted! Good luck as you continue to transition! 🙂

    Katie
    http://goingcoastalwiththeplumes.com

    Reply

  3. Unknown

    I love this! People often think we give up everything and sometimes we do, but you're living proof that you can still have a career while married to a military man! Thanks for linking up! xo

    Reply

  4. Amanda*

    I also wish people didn't think there was cookie cutter military wife!! We are all different, in our own ways, and I love that!! Thanks for sharing your story! You're pretty badass for being a lawyer 🙂

    Reply

  5. Amanda

    Stopping in from the link up! Great post.. I love reading about the military life from all perspectives.. and you are so right, most would never expect a military so to be a lawyer!! So go you!

    Reply

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