I am no children’s expert but in my few short years of parenting two kids, I have realized a few things:
1. Kids are constantly learning.
Our babies are born into the world reliant upon us. They are each, however, their own person. As they develop, their personalities develop. Their emotions are big even when they are small, though, so tantrums are a normal occurrence. However frustrating they might be, it is up to us to be their calm during the chaotic moments. It is our role to help them through their big emotions and as such, help them self-regulate. They are still learning how to deal with their emotions, how to verbalize what they want, how to be independent and test their safety boundaries. It can be overwhelming but knowing it is all normal and a part of their learning process can help you help them and eventually feel less stressed.
2. So are you.
Even though we are adults, parenting each child is a different experience. We learn how best to parent our children alongside them as they learn how to be in the world. I never knew much of anything about being a mom or parents before having kids. I mean I thought I did… and then I became a parent and realized I knew nothing. No two days are the same and plans always have to be readjusted. I’ve realized it’s a learn-as-you-go experience, which is complicated so give yourself grace along the way.
3. Patience is a virtue.
Patience is an every day, no every minute, practice when you are a parent. There are times of overwhelm, exhaustion, stress, or just business when patience is the last thing on your mind. You want to yell, maybe you do, you to cry, maybe you do, and that’s okay. We make mistakes. But recognizing that patience can help carry us through those fleeting stressful, busy or exhausting moments can keep stressful moments from becoming stressful memories – for everyone involved. So before you lose it, take a deep breath and remember that they’re kids who love you so much and are just being kids. And if you yell, be patient with yourself too. Parenting. is. hard.
4. There is no love like this.
My life forever changed the moment my babies were born and made me their mom. Immediately, my heart exploded, expanded and evolved. Simply put, the love compares to none other. I would give everything for them. And I have a feeling they love me beyond measure, too. I am told I am “the best mommy in the world” regardless of what we did, what we wore, or where we went that day. Nothing else seems to really matter except for the love and attention that I give to them.
5. Trying your best is the best you can do.
In all honesty, I have had thoughts that I’m not even a good mom or perhaps I wasn’t born with innate motherly abilities. Over time, I have realized those were lies created by my mom guilt. Maybe you can relate. We are growing up in an age with so much more research and resources, and therefore so much more pressure. To be good, to be healthy, to be fit, to be compassionate, to be … perfect, it seems. The thing is perfection is not attainable. We are human. So it’s okay if your kid eats chicken nuggets and fries sometimes, or if you raised your voice because you asked them to stop hitting each other multiple times already, or if you are busy and hand the, your cell phone for screen time. Worrying about each and every single thing we do “wrong” will not make us better moms. Chances are it will make us more guilt-ridden and therefore stressed out moms. Take it easy on yourself. You care about your kids, you love them and you are trying your best. Simply trying to be the best mom for them makes you that.
What has motherhood taught you?
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