If you are expecting intimate details of Sebastian’s birth, I’m sorry to disappoint… that’s not what you’ll be reading here. In an age where many personal tidbits are shared over the Internet, this year I am making it a goal to try my best to limit how much personal information I share, while still being open and honest on here. So that’s what this “birth story” will be. Open and honest, but not intimate.
During my pregnancy, my husband, Tim, and I attended birth classes. We read our recommended readings and practiced breathing techniques. We prepared for a natural birth. While I was very aware of the possibility of C-section, I kind of pushed it out of my mind.
To be honest, I was not prepared to not deliver my baby naturally. I did not want a C-section. In fact, I did not even want an epidural. I did not want to be induced but decided we’d figure that out when the time came based on how many days I’d gone past my due date, if so.
In my head, the best birth was an as-natural-as-can-be (in a hospital, anyway) birth. But when my water broke after contractions had stopped, I had to be induced. When hours later, my doctor told me a C-section was most likely and my contractions were hurting, I asked for an epidural (“Why put up with the excruciating pain if I wasn’t going to driver naturally?,” I thought). When 15+ hours had passed since my water broke and Sebastian still had not descended, I was prepped for a C-section. On top of it all, nurses couldn’t find my veins for IVs, the external contraction monitors wouldn’t work well on me, and I got pink eye while in labor…
Basically, nothing had gone as planned. It was a lot to take in. Honestly, though, we were so excited that I still remained upbeat and overjoyed. I was in a pretty great mood throughout the day.
Until I was being wheeled into the operating room and (temporarily) away from Tim (to be prepped). I broke down, admitting through tears, “I’m scared.” I was feeling so many emotions with not much time to process any of them.
I was so exhausted from the day and the anesthesia that I almost fell asleep on the operating table. “WAKE UP! You’re going to be a mom in 15 minutes!,” my doctor excitedly yelled. As they were operating, I found out my ab muscles were (a bit too?) strong (yay?) and that the baby’s umbilical cord was wrapped twice around his neck. Maybe, the doctor said, that’s why he wouldn’t descend.
And then, he was born. The temporary baby blues eventually followed (post to come) but in those first moments and days, I felt on top of the world. All that mattered then was that he was alive and healthy, here, and ours. That’s what mattered most. I birthed our baby boy whom I’d carried, nurtured and already loved and took care of for 40 weeks. Eventually I realized, there’s nothing unnatural about that.
It really is amazing how labor and birth can change in an instant.
I love how you are so open about it all. Like you said, you didn't even think about a C-section because it's not what you wanted. So many people would probably be afraid to admit that after going through what you did – I love that you are so genuine about it!