Blog - Page 15 of 183 - Moments of Musing

A Different, More Meaningful Mother’s Day (Mommy & Me Photos)

Filed Under: mother's day, motherhood // May 5, 2020

𝘔𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘨𝘭𝘰𝘣𝘢𝘭 𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘧𝘦𝘭𝘵 𝘶𝘯𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦. Yes, I am hopeful we will be a better world because of this.

I am also scared. I am frustrated. I am anxious. I am nervous. I am stressed. Aside from S knowing there are “germs” keeping us home, the boys don’t really realize what’s happening (thankfully). So, they sometimes tantrum and fight, as usual… adding to our stress about the current events, and causing me to wish under my breath that they’d give us a break during this time.⁣⁣⁣⁣

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𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘨𝘭𝘰𝘣𝘢𝘭 𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘴𝘰 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘢 𝘣𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝘈 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯. 𝘈𝘯 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨. The stress from their tantrums and fights is almost a welcomed stress—it brings me back to 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘯𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘭. And everyday I realize, now more than ever, that what is most important is them, their health and their wellbeing.

The outside world may be full of uncertainty but of this I am certain: 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝.⁣⁣⁣⁣

If they’re okay, I’m okay. ⁣⁣⁣⁣

𝘈𝘴 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺’𝘳𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘺, 𝘴𝘰 𝘢𝘮 𝘐.

We didn’t meet as kids — but we’ve grown up together.

Filed Under: Marriage // March 4, 2020

marriage, husband and wife, husband, wife, las vegas, military couple, long distance, long island mom, new york family, latina mom, mom blog, mom blogger, parents, parenthood

We didn’t meet as kids— we were 22 & 24-years-old— but I still feel like we’ve grown up together. ⁣

– We’ve gotten sober together. ⁣

– We’ve gone through law school, college and business school together.

⁣– We’ve made mistakes and learned together. ⁣

– We’ve experienced cross-country moves, international travel and career changes together.

⁣– We’ve endured a deployment, long distance, injuries, loss and more together. ⁣

– We’ve become PARENTS, home owners and business owners together. ⁣

– We’ve chosen each other over and over again …together. ⁣

These years have been such profound years. While we might not have met as kids, we sure have grown up alongside one another.⁣

From Lawyer to Working at Home – and Still Grateful for my Law Degree

Filed Under: career and motherhood, motherhood // March 2, 2020

I recently asked S what his favorite thing about me was.⁣
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And then his least favorite.⁣
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I expected him to say when I yell or when I don’t let him watch YouTube.⁣
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“You work,” he said.⁣
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𝘞𝘰𝘳𝘬? I wondered. I asked him what about me working didn’t he like since I work from home. ⁣
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I expected him to say I work all day or I’m on my phone too much. ⁣
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Instead, he said “Last week you went to work [I go into my office once every other week], and I was sad. I missed you.” ⁣
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This made me think: ⁣
1) I’m way harder on myself than my kids are on me, and ⁣
2) Sometimes it’s weird looking back on all the time, energy, money (and school loans) I invested into becoming a lawyer, and yet I don’t practice anymore. ⁣
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But in our one car conversation, my desire and decision to work from home in a non-lawyer role and in a different field (communications) were 𝘳𝘦-𝘢𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘮𝘦𝘥. ⁣
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𝐈’𝐦 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐈 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠. ⁣
𝐈’𝐦 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐈’𝐦 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞. ⁣
𝐈𝐧 𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝 — 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐫. ⁣
𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞. ⁣
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Cheers to 3 years here as Moments of Musing! Thanks for your support.

In Need of a Local Babysitter?

Filed Under: babysitting, motherhood // February 25, 2020

This post is sponsored by Bambino but all opinions are my own.

The last time Tim and I went on a date was … when we traveled hundreds of miles away to Colorado.

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Currently, our biggest issue is one I think many parents can relate to: we don’t know many people locally and thus, don’t know who to trust with babysitting our kids locally.

Of course, we can have my mom come or bring them to Brooklyn to her but that’s not always reasonable. And it wouldn’t be feasible for a last minute quick date to a local restaurant or show.

I think I might have just found a solution for the problem, though: Bambino Sitters.

Bambino is a babysitting app that helps families find, book and pay trusted, neighborhood sitters using their personal and social networks.

Rather than searching through a vast database of strangers, Bambino uses recommendations from friends and neighbors to help families find sitters that live down the street and around the corner. Using community feedback, comprehensive safety checks, sitter performance metrics, and a proprietary matching algorithm, Bambino helps match the right sitter with the right family every time.

It’s also great for people who’d love to make some extra money because it’s a great support model for babysitters.

The way Bambino works is simple: when you search, babysitters will be populated by the terms requested (i.e. hours); babysitters you’ve previously used and friends have used will be displayed towards top; select a few that you like and a babysitter will get the request; and based upon responses of their availability the parent will then choose a babysitter. Once the sit is complete, pay the babysitter directly through the app!

If you’d like to join the over 200,000 registered users, sign up today + SAVE $10 off your first booking with code MOMENTS10.

The Journey of Motherhood: Returning to Work

Filed Under: journey of motherhood, motherhood // February 4, 2020

Motherhood is a journey.

This guest post is written by Laura Otton, LCSW, who has a private practice based out of Huntington, NY, specializing in all things motherhood ranging from fertility issues and pregnancy loss, to pregnancy and the postpartum period. She is running The Journey of Motherhood, a series of workshops, at The Nesting Place in West Islip NY. The fourth and final workshop, Returning to Work, is the inspiration for this post and will be held this Saturday, February 8, 2020 from 1:30-3PM. You can learn more about Laura practice and workshops by visiting her website at therapyformotherhood.com

This is Part 4 of a four-part series.

Working mom, working mother, maternity leave, return to work, career mom, lawyer mom, back to work, Mat leave, parental leave, postpartum

What is motherhood if not a feeling of push-pull between your children and everything else? You want a break, yet when you get one you miss them so much it hurts. You want nothing more than to be a mama, yet sometimes you miss your old life. You miss work. You miss home. Is it possible to give 100% to your children and 100% to your job? Are you compromising on both ends and feel guilty? Anxious? Overwhelmed trying to do it all? Have it all?

Maybe you skipped away from daycare or your house feeling free from the burden of caring for your little one, only 30 minutes later have the homesick feeling of missing your baby hit you. Or perhaps it took you 20 minutes to say goodbye; you went over instructions, schedules, and precautions ten times, anxiously wringing your hands and imagining every scenario of doom…and then going to work wasn’t so bad.

Work also comes with…well, work. Bottles, packing, cleaning, pumping, formula-buying, outfit arranging, dropping off, picking up, researching the best daycares, navigating the sticky situations of in-law and parental involvement. Long commute? Baby has a cold? Traveling for work? Intrusive co-workers? Unsympathetic bosses? Awkward privacy for pumping and storing? These only add to the burden. This feels hard because it is hard.

Some of us have to go back to work. Some of us want to go back to work. Some work full-time. Others start working from home or cut back on their hours. Some walk away completely. There are endless variations, but absolutely none are free from…wait for it…mom guilt. Ugh. Guilt hangs heavy on our shoulders. We often feel it in waves, ebbing and flowing, small, then large.

Work gives us more than a paycheck. Using your education and experience to be productive at work feels good. We receive validation and praise for a job well done. We usually know what “well done” looks like. You have tasks at a job. You check things off. You accomplish and move forward. What does this notsound like? Caring for a baby, which often feels endless and thankless, uncertain, and frustrating.

Also, socializing! Chatting with co-workers, talking about something besides your baby’s lack of sleep and bodily functions—here’s a lot of good about work. There’s also a lot of good about being home. Parenthood isn’t easy no matter what the work situation looks like for your family. There’s no solution involving work or not working that makes parenthood easy, but there are combinations that look best for you and for your family. I emphasize this because we compare ourselves to others. We get defensive and sensitive because we can doubt and overanalyze our choices. We seek validation that we’re doing the right thing. But it has to be right for you. If your family has the luxury of being able to choose work or home for you or your partner, then you’re left with decisions to make. And it’s important to make them carefully but with confidence.

I work with my clients on acknowledging and validating that the push/pull of baby/work is real, normal, and okay. It’s called ambivalence, and we all have it. It also is going to look different on different days. One day you may be skipping off to work, and the next you’re holding back tears at your desk (or maybe this describes the same day!). But in therapy we work on mindfulness—that buzz word so popular these days. Basically, when you’re at work, you are focused on work, mind and body. And when you leave work, you leave work, mind and body. You appreciate work. You appreciate being home. You care for yourself on those really tough days we all have. But understand that most days aren’t going to be those super tough days. Most days are okay. Feel proud of your work. Enjoy the benefits of it. And when you’re home, cherish it. Enjoy the benefits of it. Feel proud of it. And remember, this is what has to work for you and your family. Comparing your plans to others’ will only bring doubt or hollow pride (you’re doing it right, they’re doing it wrong). Therapy focuses on building your confidence so you aren’t looking to others for validation or letting doubt creep in. Another important component to strengthen is your boundary-setting with supervisors and co-workers, and advocacy so your new needs as a parent are being met—perhaps this is a clean and private area to pump, or it’s having meetings scheduled during the day so you can leave on time. We work on your relationship with your partner so you’re on more equal footing and can provide the other with needed support. We weigh pros and cons of career changes—whether that’s leaning in to a promotion or taking a step back to part-time, working from home, or taking a break all together.

There is no plan without imperfections and downsides. You are doing the best you can with what you have. In all my experience, I’ve never seen the same plan work for different families. It’s unique for you. What does this look like for you and for your family? How do you feel about it? How does your partner feel about it? Is it working for your family? Is it working for you? I urge you to carve out a quiet moment with your partner to discuss this in order to get to the root of your feelings, figure out what aspects you have control over and where you can make decisions, and then make plans or changes. Let’s see how work can work for you.