Moments of Musing

Empowered Mom Bod

Filed Under: motherhood //

This post is sponsored by Perifit. All opinions are my own.

postpartum body, pregnancy, childbirth, pelvic floor, kegel, pelvic floor exercise, kegel exercise, perefit



Stretch marks. Scars. Extra curves. Looser skin… Decreased bladder control…. and so on. Pregnancy and childbirth change our bodies. There’s no going around it. Instead of being down about it, I’ve chosen to cherish my body. To treat it kindly and with grace. To be grateful for making me a mom. 

Most of all, I want to empower my mom bod to be the best it can be!

Did you know more than 1 billion women have pelvic floor disorders like incontinence or prolapse? Kegel exercises strengthen your pelvic floor to combat incontinence and pelvic floor issues. Unfortunately, it’s difficult to work out muscles you can’t see. Perifit cuts out all of the guesswork.

postpartum body, pregnancy, childbirth, pelvic floor, kegel, pelvic floor exercise, kegel exercise, perefit

Perifit is a Kegel exerciser that lets you control videos games with your pelvic floor. It’s simple and actually quite fun! When you contract your pelvic floor, a bird flies up. When you relax your pelvic floor, the bird flies down. Repeat to play and advance levels while strengthening your pelvic floor at the same time!

These games were designed by doctors to help properly strengthen the pelvic floor. It works so well that more than 1000 doctors already recommend Perifit to combat incontinence and prolapse and other pelvic floor disorders.

postpartum body, pregnancy, childbirth, pelvic floor, kegel, pelvic floor exercise, kegel exercise, perefit


Working From Home: 3-Month Recap

Filed Under: career, career and motherhood, motherhood, working from home, working mom //

It has been a little over three months working from home. Our routines have changed a bit, but for the most part things are going smoothly. Today, I’m spilling on what it has been like — what has worked, what hasn’t and how we’re all doing with this new change:

We have some new routines but I’m still figuring out my routine…

The very beginning was trying to figure out what works and what doesn’t. I was doing work at 2AM because I hadn’t carved out time during the day to do so. A couple days in, I did not know how I was going to do it — take care of the boys, the house, and myself while working in the middle of the night. It seemed impossible.

I soon realized I simply needed to make a new routine. I now try to wake up, check emails, serve the boys their breakfasts, feed them, and get back to work while they eat and play. I take little work breaks throughout the day to catch up on work so I am done by bed time. 
And though I hate to admit it, there are some days when I still do my work at 2AM …or 5AM or other odd hours. There are still times, I work in bed at night. I think this is okay though.  On days when I’m flying solo with the boys or they’re sick or extra needy for whatever reason, work waits until the late hours or bedtime or even weekends. 

All that being said, I think I work more odd hours now but also more efficiently. Motherhood has certainly helped teach me how to do so.

It can be overwhelming.

A big part of working from home can feel like stay-at-home motherhood plus the added work. I miss adult interaction. I do not get much time in my home office to get work done on my own. Instead the kitchen island has become my desk. 
It can be especially stressful when the boys are fighting or throwing tantrums or just want me to give them my time and attention. Focusing on work during those moments is nearly impossible so I just have to prioritize their needs above my work — being able to do so is the best part of working from home. 
Thankfully, I do not have to be by a computer for a set number of hours or during set times. I just have to be available somehow (cell is fine, usually); arrange in advance for video meetings or phone calls; and do my work in a timely manner. I have also had to discuss my capabilities, and what I need help with around the house with my husband, who is now mostly home, too.

I can’t do it all.

The biggest thing I have learned in this process is that as much as I want to do it “all,” I simply can’t. It’s impossible. I started out thinking I could work from home, take care of the house, care for the boys, and teach my older son preschool. I quickly realized I could not teach him the way he deserved to be taught and that he was missing out on socialization with other kids. 

So, we enrolled S in preschool. It gives us some time to spend with R, get things done around the house and possibly get some work done if R naps. S absolutely loves school and I know it was a great decision. I also realized that I need help with house work and taking care of the boys. I’ve had to ask my husband to help out more but I think we have a good groove now. 

It has been the best decision of my career thus far.

From what I’ve learned, the early years of motherhood are very busy chaotic. Some Many days, motherhood trumps all and takes most of my time and attention. This happens more often than not, in a ll honestly. Working from home enables me to shift my work priorities to prioritize my most important role – being their mom. My position also still challenges me,  fosters interaction with co-workers, and one of the best parts is that I do not have a resume or income gap. 
I am forever grateful that I have achieved as close to a balance as it gets in my career, and I can only hope it will continue this way while still being able to grow professionally. 

The Journey of Motherhood: Reconnecting with Your Partner

Filed Under: body image, journey of motherhood, laura otter, motherhood, postpartum body //


Motherhood is a journey. 


This guest post is written by Laura Otton, LCSW, who has a private practice based out of Huntington, NY, specializing in all things motherhood ranging from fertility issues and pregnancy loss, to pregnancy and the postpartum period. She is running The Journey of Motherhood, a series of workshops, at The Nesting Place in West Islip NY. The third workshop, Reconnecting with Your Partner, is the inspiration for this post and will be held this Saturday January 11, 2019. You can learn more about Laura practice and workshops by visiting her website at therapyformotherhood.com

This is Part 3 of a four-part series. 


As I’m creating the content for my workshop Reconnecting with Your Partner I’m realizing it’s about so much more than reconnecting (put your phones down! Sit close together on the sofa when you’re watching tv!). 

It’s about communication and our inherent need to be heard and understood. It’s about feeling attractive to the other. It’s about creating the space in our lives again for our partnership to be the foundation of the family, not a castoff side note. 

Our marriages/partnerships take work—time, energy, communication, patience, self-reflection—that is often difficult in even the best of times. But bring a new baby into the mix with the sleep deprivation, financial strain, messiness, and outside intrusions from family—and, well, no marriage can hide completely from the worst parts of ourselves being hurtled at the other. 

Think back to the last argument (heated discussion? fight?) you had with your partner. Was it over how to load the dishwasher? Who got more sleep last night? (not me! I’m the most tired!) Who gets a break from the baby when working-partner arrives home? Something a family member said? I’d challenge you to think about what the argument was really about. 

Usually it boils down to something like, “I do more work, I’m more tired, you’re not helping enough; I need you to understand how hard this is.” We all know that the best relationships have open, loving and honest communication in which each person is heard and feels validated. The problem so often is that we’re not speaking in terms of feelings when we argue. 

We throw accusations. We make lists, spoken or unspoken, of wrongs against us, and this makes it hard to see that so often both partners feel exactly the same, but are reacting in different ways—are handling the new stress of baby differently. 

It is common for new moms to feel rage, sadness, or fear they hadn’t experienced before, and the partner is the nearest and most vulnerable victim. And for the partner—he or she can feel new pressures to support or to earn, or they may feel left behind or clueless as to their new role. Both are afraid of the baby not getting the best, of the baby being hurt, of messing up. 

Addressing intimacy is also a difficult but crucial part of the work. It’s joked about how it feels impossible to ever even want to be intimate again—covered in spit-up, unshowered, exhausted, stressed, and just worn out from all the touch children require.

If you’re struggling in your relationship right now, know that you’re not alone. It is easy to see how even the best relationships are tested during this time. There are tried-and-true ways to improve the quality of communication that trickles down to your children. There are ways to weave romance and affection into the everyday. 

Your relationship can grow and strengthen as you watch the other be a parent—giving and receiving love from the child. Of course time can help relationships as the child ages and you get more sleep, but sometimes the rifts do nothing but grow as time goes on—for children will always be needing, and if the partners have turned into roommates/coworkers for the family—well, you can see where this goes. 

Love is pushed out for the sake of efficiency and avoiding disagreements. The best thing for a child is to have love from his or her family; to witness healthy communication, respect, boundary-setting, affection, and helpfulness. Working on your relationship with your partner is worth all the time, energy, and resources you can give because it is the foundation for the family. 

First, you need the right tools. Therapy can do just that—provide the tools, tweak the language, lay the groundwork—for the partnership to grow out of the postpartum period into a relationship that withstands and thrives. I’ve enjoyed creating the content for this workshop because it’s a good refresher no matter what stage you’re in. Though I still maintain I load the dishwasher the right way.

Motherhood: My Most Defining Experience of the Past Decade

Filed Under: 2010s, motherhood, new year //

I have lost myself in Motherhood but more importantly, I have found myself here, too.
If I had to choose the most defining experience of the past decade it has been Motherhood. 

From marriage to career, Motherhood has profoundly impacted every aspect of my life. 
It has made me feel—really feel. 
It has given me the biggest joys in the form of the purest souls. 
It has made me feel crippling guilt—from the way I birthed my babies to the way I’ve yelled. 

It has made me feel both under-appreciated and overwhelmed, appreciated and at peace. 
It has made me feel despair and anxious, proud and excited. 
It has filled me with a love that feels bigger than just that.  
It has been the acknowledgment that we – myself, the kids, my husband- are all learning. 

It has been long days and restless nights. 
It has been compromise and cuddles… oh the cuddles!
It has been the realization that being their Mom is my life’s greatest work.  

Motherhood has blessed me. 
It has challenged me. 
It has transformed me. 
It has empowered me. 

It has birthed me into the Mom that I am, the person I always wanted to be. 
And I like who that is. 
… No, actually, I love her. 

Celebrate Everyday Moments (Frozen 2 Carvel Cake Party)

Filed Under: carvel, frozen 2, motherhood, positivity //

This post is sponsored by Carvel but all opinions are my own.

If you have followed me for a little while then you know I am an optimist. I like to focus on the
good and celebrate everyday moments.

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Some things never change. Since I was a young girl, I have loved and asked for a Carvel cake
for celebrations. I usually have one every year for my birthday; we’ve had one for my husband’s
graduation celebrations; for dessert on summer nights and just because on any given day or
night. The chocolate crunches are my favorite part!!!

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While grocery shopping one day this past fall, I picked up a Carvel cake just because. I was
hesitant at first because it wasn’t a “special” occasion … but then I thought “who makes the
rules?” Today’s as good a day as any to celebrate.

That’s why I loved celebrating Frozen 2 with my boys. We got to have our favorite cake while
celebrating girl power and sisterhood. My boys absolutely loved it and our celebration went on
much longer than anticipated. It was the perfect reason to pause my seemingly never ending
holiday to-do list. You can enjoy Frozen 2 off-screen with your kids, too, with a beautifully
themed Carvel cake!

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I think it’s important for boys and men to recognize girls and women as their equals. I am
happy to show my boys that girls can be strong, smart and independent. I am equally happy to
show them that we don’t need a holiday or birthday to celebrate — there are so many beautiful
reasons to celebrate in life!

That’s why we loved celebrating Frozen 2 with Carvel!

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