Moments of Musing

A Letter to my 20’s

Filed Under: 20s //

It’s my birthday weekend, which means it’s the last few days of my 20’s. I’ve done a lot of reminiscing and just couldn’t turn 30 without writing a letter to the years that have molded me:


To My 20’s,


You gave me college, law school and my career. The opportunities to live in Chicago, Hawaii and Barcelona. To travel throughout Europe, the United States, China and Brazil. 

I was lucky enough to fall in love — three times. Once with my soul mate (our love story is my favorite) and twice with my amazing sons, Sebastian and Rafael. 

I faced my biggest challenges, failed but also succeeded, survived and thrived… and I have embraced sobriety. 

You built me. 

I have grown and learned, loved and lost. Because of that difficult loss I now cherish every single moment and remember to smile everyday. 

I’m taking every bit of these years and this decade with me.

You are the foundation of who I am, and I am excited to use that foundation to propel upward and onward into my 30’s. 

So, thank you. 

Thank you for your lessons, for your love and for your memories. 

Most of all, thank you for being the best years of my life — so far. 
xoxo, me

Happy World Breastfeeding Week

Filed Under: breastfeeding, fed is best, motherhood, World Breastfeeding Week //

To the mom who is proud of her body for nourishing her baby, I too am in awe. 

To the mom who feels/felt guilty for not breastfeeding, I know the feeling. 

To the mom who’s been awake in the middle of the night while breast feeding for 3.5 hours, I know the exhaustion. 

To the mom who doesn’t want to try breastfeeding again because of how badly it hurt the first time, I get it. 

To the mom who is touched out, I understand. 

To the mom for whom formula was the best option, I’ve been there. 

To the mom who looks forward to the cuddles during nursing sessions, I do, too. 

To the mom who didn’t breast feed for whatever reason, I’m with you. 

To the breast feeding mom, you’re an amazing mom. To the formula feeding mom, you’re an amazing mom. We’re all amazing moms. Because we love our babies, because that’s what matters most and because fed is best. 

I personally remember feeling badly whenever I saw breast feeding posts because I wanted so badly to experience it for much longer with my firstborn. To be able to do so this time around has sort of filled that hole for me and it’s made me appreciate my body even more. 

It’s also helped to create a special bond with my second born, something I was afraid (thanks to pregnancy hormones) wouldn’t happen. I truly believe that’s one of the reasons it’s worked out this time.
So, if you’re feeling badly like I was, remember that you and your body are still amazing! And if you’re proud like I am, appreciate your amazing body! 

We’re all amazing moms.

 ——— 

I’ve been on both sides of feeding and therefore couldn’t acknowledge World Breastfeeding Week and the amazing experience that breast feeding is without also acknowledging that it’s a difficult process and every mother’s own decision. 

Read about my formula-feeding experience here.

Maternity Leave Guest Series: Mothering Without A Mother

Filed Under: guest post, maternity leave guest series, motherhood //


As most of you know, I will be away from blogland a bit while I’m on maternity leave. Lucky for me – AND you!- I’ve partnered with some lovely bloggers to consistently bring you great content. 


This week, I am honored to share a post by my college friend Jackie of The Joyful House Queens. She writes a heartfelt letter to her pregnant little sister about what it’s like to be a mom without their mom, who passed away from cancer July 2009. Be sure to grab some tissues because it’s an emotional read. 



Mothering Without A Mother 
by Jackie Queen of The Joyful House Queens


A letter to my pregnant sister.
{Jackie}  We lost our mother exactly 9 years ago today, July 24, 2009.  A date, a moment, an emotion, that will forever be etched into my memory.  She was diagnosed with esophageal cancer in December of the year prior while both Jessie and I were in college. My dad, older brother, and the two of us were all living at home that summer, soaking in what we knew would be the last few months as the family we had always known. It was an extremely emotional summer.  I have beautiful, special, memories of our time together but I also have regrets throughout those 7 months; wishing I did more, laid with her more, held her hand more, talked with her more. However, sometimes I think that is the pain speaking from time passing and how I long to do those things just one more time. And quite honestly, I can admit I was in denial that it was actually happening because it was my mom, our family’s rock, the person who did it all! She had to get better. She fought, but suffered more, and we lost one of the most beautiful souls at only 49 years old. I felt part of my own soul die through witnessing her excruciating battle.
Almost a decade later and that pain hasn’t gone away. And I know it never will. The day to day is “easier” but the grieving process of a lost loved one is ever going; most particularly triggered by significant life events. The college graduation, without a mother; the big family vacation, without a mother; the first time you bring home THE ONE, without a mother; THE dress shopping, without a mother; the wedding day, without a mother; the “we’re pregnant” without a mother. But for me, it is the mothering without a mother, that has been most difficult.
The pure joy and excitement when you first find out you are going to bring life into this world is indescribable.  For my husband and I it was times two since we were expecting twins. They are 3 years old now and are the light of my life! Their adventurous personalities and sweet hearts have made motherhood so rewarding and I am filled with love and joy each and every day. But there is a part of me that feels empty and I know it is because I am a mother without a mother. My sister and blogging partner, Jessie, is now 4 months pregnant with a baby boy, so this letter is to her.
—
My sweet Jessikins,
You have probably already experienced some of the pain and hurt that comes with going through motherhood without mom. The instant you found out you were pregnant I’m sure you felt this want, or need, to tell her. Knowing you couldn’t, your heart ached. I know, I’ve been there. I wish I could hold you and tell you those feelings go away. But I can’t. They don’t.
You’ll be in the delivery room and they’ll hand you your fresh new baby and he will be SO beautiful and that moment will be one you and Dwight will NEVER forget. But you’ll also long for your mother’s hug and her calm whisper telling you how incredible of a woman you are, for what you just did. I know, I’ve been there.
People will visit, hold him, love him, but sometimes you’ll be angry that they get to have those moments with your sweet boy but your own mom can’t physically be here to hold him too. I know, I’ve been there.
You’ll have friends who have babies and they’ll mention how their mom has been so incredible helping around the house while they try to figure out how to feed this new human and shower at the same time. And you’ll be able to relate with the chaos of newborn life, but you’ll also be left with moments of jealousy amidst the exhaustion. I know, I’ve been there.
Your baby will start to learn people’s names and faces and you’ll begin to show them pictures of mommy and call her Gigi because you think she would have liked that name but get mad at yourself because you never really asked her what her future grandkids should call her. I know, I’ve been there.
There will be a day where your child does something EXACTLY the way you did as a kid and you will laugh so hard at the irony thinking to yourself, oh my gosh I wish she was here to witness that but also be comforted knowing she saw it from Heaven, laughing too! I know, I’ve been there.
You’ll have days where you are SPENT and completely depleted by this (or these) human(s) and there is noone more you want to pick up the phone and call but mommy. SHE would know this EXACT emotion. And you’ll want to say, “I get it! I get why you were in a bad mood from time to time! You felt like you could not give one ounce more. But mom, you always did and I know I barely said this when I should have but I can’t thank you enough for all you did for us!”. I know, I’ve been there.
There will be nights you are with your family making memories like you remember doing as a kid and you just turn to your husband with tears welling up in your eyes, barely able to convey how much your mom would have loved this stage of life. I know, I’ve been there.
But more than anything, you’ll long for her answers. Motherhood brings about so many questions and you’ll just want to ask her, all of them. While others may complain about the vast opinions of their parents, you’d give the world for just one of hers. Not saying we wouldn’t roll our eyes at a few of hers, but her insight is one I miss with all I am.
Some days, mothering without a mother is crippling. And the only thing you can do is take a warm shower and cry until there are no tears left.
Or, call your sister… I know, I’ve been there.
God knew exactly what He was doing in giving us one another. I thank Him every day for you and the guidance and support He has instilled in you, long before you even became a mother yourself. You’ve been my sister and have helped fill the wounds of pain from not having a mother in this motherhood journey. And I promise I will be that for you to the best of my ability, every step of the way. We will both experience new emotions, alike emotions, vastly different emotions, as we raise these humans. I will never be mommy, but I pray I can embody her essence, as you have done for me.
I love you and you will truly be the most incredible mother. Without a doubt, I know Mommy is so proud.
Your sister,
Jack Jack
Take care of each other.

30 Before 30 Update #2

Filed Under: 30 before 30 //

Since I turn 30 in just over a week, I figured it’s a good time to do another check-in on my “30 Before 30” list. Here it is when I made it a few years ago and here it is last summer. I’ve only checked one off since then (#9) but it’s a big one so I am happy!


It seems this week is a week to check how my life lists are going. Since I am now 29 and this is the last year before I turn 30, I wanted to see how I’m doing:

  1. Engagement
  2. Marriage
  3. Child(ren) (We do hope to have more though!)
  4. Machu Pichu (We almost went here for our honeymoon but chose to go to Rio de Janeiero, Brazil instead and I’m so happy we did.)
  5. Live in a city in a doorman building 
  6. Become a lawyer
  7. Get dream job
  8. 5-10 Midwest states while in Chicago
  9. Buy a house (WE DID IT! We became home owners in December 2017.)
  10. Live abroad
  11. Australia (Since I am itching for international travel, I think this would make a great winter trip next January or February…hint hint, Husband)
  12. Run a 10K
  13. Skiing in CO (Note: Though I do want to visit there, I do not think I would have placed this on my list if I were to make one now but here it is. I don’t think I’ll get around to this for a bit.)
  14. Cliff jump 
  15. Zip line
  16. Swim with sharks 
  17. Donate hair to cancer patients
  18. Scuba dive
  19. Nashville, TN
  20. Cedar Point
  21. Skydive  
  22. Send my parents on a trip (We considered doing this for their 30th Wedding Anniversary but threw them a party instead… so does that count towards this? lol)
  23. Try out snowboarding 
  24. Disney World with Timmy
  25. Puerto Rico (I haven’t been in almost 10 years!)
  26. Donate blood
  27. Pay for a stranger’s coffee or meal (I’ve given homeless people money, food and drinks but never this… Time to Pay it Forward ASAP.)
  28. Volunteer at a charity event 
  29. Go back for a weekend at Penn State (I did this a couple times prior to making the list but not since. I miss my college home very much so I hope to do this soon!)

I will reevaluate the remaining items and decide whether they’ll carry over into another list or not. Do you have a list like this? If so, what’s something on yours that’s not on mine?

Baby/Toddler Group Swim Lessons

Filed Under: swim lessons //

This is a sponsored post. All opinions are my own.
If you’ve been following me on social media (Instagram | Facebook), you might have noticed that our toddler started group swim lessons at the beginning of the summer at Goldfish Swim School – Farmingdale. I can not say enough good things about the swim school and its staff. 

Upon arrival, we signed consent forms and were gifted reusable bags with an orange Goldfish t-shirt and resource materials. We’ve used this bag for swim class items (towel and change of clothes) every week. There is a cute little snack shack area, shower area, a blow dry bar, changing room huts, a coloring station, and if you are in need of a swim suit or reusable diaper (required), there are a variety offered for sale, as well. 
When class time comes, there is an announcement for class members to enter the pool. The swim teachers help parents enter and exit the pool by holding the babies/toddlers for them as they do so. 
During the class, there are songs and fun activities, such as going down a foam slide, riding in a foam boat with other kids, and gathering balls in the pool. 

Seb absolutely loves the classes. He has practiced pulling the water with his arms, kicking his feet, putting his head underwater, floating, and getting up and down the pool wall. He had not really done of this prior to classes so it’s been fun seeing him improve. He even got a ribbon for going underwater and was proud of himself! 

It’s important to note that while my husband and I feel much more confident when S is in a pool now, we know we still have to watch him to ensure his safety. While the classes are teaching him to swim, he is far from that milestone–and that’s okay. The class is a fun activity for him and offers social interaction.

The Goldfish model is The Science of SwimPlay,® meaning the swim lessons are taught in a safe and fun environment. The main focus is water safety, while simultaneously fostering a love of swimming. So, while there is focus on the serious stuff, there is also a focus on the fun. 
Goldfish offers:

  • One lifeguard certified instructor for every four children
  • Year-round swim lessons for children 4 months to 12 years and for swimmers of all abilities
  • The Science of SwimPlay® Curriculum focused on teaching swim and safety skills while building character through guided play
  • Curriculum focused on teaching swim and safety skills while building character
  • Flexible scheduling to accommodate busy family schedules

All in all, the facilities are clean and inviting; the staff is knowledgable and accommodating; and the classes are fun and informative. We could not ask for a better swim class experience, and highly recommend Goldfish for swim lessons!