My little baby love was born a little over one year ago. Crazy. I truly believe time has flown faster since becoming a mom but it’s weird–time is weird– because I also feel like I’ve known him forever. I couldn’t tell you how many times I question what I did before him. He’s made me a better person, that’s for sure, and he made me a mom, for which I am eternally grateful.
And let me tell you, the lessons have been aplenty this first year of motherhood.
Here are 12 things these 12 months have taught me:
1. There is no love like this love. The love between a parent and child is incomparable. I seriously think my heart could burst some days, he makes it so full. It’s as simple as that. Even though it doesn’t feel simple at all. Love never is, I suppose. Basically, I am obsessed with him. And everyday as his his mom has been the best day of my life.
2. Marriage as parents is different. Not only is it different, it is quite challenging …but having a strong and solid foundation with my husband has made parenting a heck of a lot easier. Others realize it, too. I’m often reminded that he’s one of the “good ones.” As my grandma recently told me (in Spanish) about Tim, one good man is worth that of three. I’d have to agree.
3. Presence really is a present. I try my darnedest to stay off my phone and in the moment whenever I am around Seb. He knows when I’m not paying attention to him. He knows when I’m not fully present and after being away all day at work, the least I can do is try my best to show him I care that I’m there. Because I really do. I think about him all the time when I’m away from him.
4. Babies are amazing. Their developments are amazing. There is such a difference between months. He’s gone from sitting to standing to walking with help. If only those who make fun of baby monthly photos knew this — because really, the joke’s on them.
5. My body is amazing. I don’t mean it in a conceited way. I mean it in a “I grew a human inside of me, birthed him, fed him, and squeezed back into pre-pregnancy jeans within a month” amazing. How it did it, I’ll never know. But boy, am I in awe and forever indebted to it. And that means taking it easy on the “mom bod” guilt.
6. It’s okay to be scared but it’s good to work to get over the fears. I was scared to go alone with my baby to a breastfeeding groups and wish I’d just done it. I was too nervous to take the subway alone with him so my husband drove us round-trip (3 hours) to work one day. Until recently, I was also too scared to drive with him by myself (I’m still working on this fear). Those are just a few examples of things I had previously done that I suddenly was too scared to do as a mom. The best thing I have done is face my fears and realize I am fully capable of doing everything I can with my son. Now, taking the subway together feels more normal… and it actually makes me feel like a supermom. If you’ve ever taken the NYC subway during rush hour, you get what I mean.
7. “Mom brain” is real. I’ve forgotten my office location, my office phone number, where I’ve put things, etc. It’s actually quite funny and makes for good stories. Learning to laugh at myself and my mistakes rather than be upset over them is something I do more often now… forgiving myself for mistakes, too.
8. I know what’s best for my own child. My husband does, too… even though we will each have different styles, which is totally okay!
9. I am capable of and able to do so much more than I ever imagined. My self-confidence has grown immensely over the year. I have never felt as empowered before. I’ve never happy cried as much, either.
10. Self care is important. This means pampering myself, writing, and giving myself a break. It also means time with my girlfriends, time with my family and time with my husband. Just because I’ve become a mom doesn’t mean that’s all I am (though it is a huge part of who I am now).
11. Sleep will never be the same. We’ve woken up during the night every night for a year now… When others advise you to get all the sleep you can while pregnant, heed that advice. When others advise you to sleep when your newborn sleeps, though it might not be possible every time the baby sleeps, heed that advice.
12. My parents really love me. For that I could never thank them enough. (Note: they might even love my child more if that’s possible.) They’ve always told me they do and have shown me but I don’t think I truly understand it until I became a mom. Ashton Kutcher put it perfectly:
This has really been the best year and adventure of my life.
