Moments of Musing

A second line

Filed Under: Baby L, Marriage, pregnancy //

One year ago, a second line appeared … It was one of the most exciting life moments to date. I felt like I could burst at the seams and telling Tim in special surprise way went right out the window because I couldn’t contain my excitement! My lifelong dream of becoming a mommy was becoming a reality. 

It was one of the best days because it led to our baby boy. I’ve never loved someone so wholeheartedly and fiercely. He’s made our life so much better, so much more whole. 
I am so, so grateful.
When I first looked at these maternity photos all I saw was how much weight I’d gained … Now, I see only beautiful images, some of which are my most favorite photos. 
This was one of the absolute best stages in our life thus far and I’d be remiss not to thank my husband. Through the ups, downs and all-arounds, he’s been by my side. First-time parenting sure isn’t easy but loving you and being a parent with you to our baby boy is. 
Thank you for helping to bring our baby into this world. It’s truly a better place because he’s here.

Sacrifice — why I’m (more than) okay with it

Filed Under: Uncategorized //

There were clean dishes that needed to be put away and dirty dishes in the sink. Clean laundry that needed to be folded and put away. My husband was busy doing something and despite my desire to take care of the household work, the baby wasn’t having it. 

He was whiney and not because he was hungry or wanted to nap. He wanted to go to sleep for the night. I realized this when rocking him in the living room or pacing the hallway wasn’t cutting it. So I put him in bed and snuggled with him. 

Moments later, he‘d stopped sucking on his pacifier and he was fast asleep. As I lay there with one arm under his legs and the other on top of him, I thought about everything I’d wanted to do around the house but wouldn’t get around to doing. 

And yet, none of it mattered. My son wanted to be “tucked in bed” and he wanted me to do it. He needed me in those moments more than the household chores needed to be done. 

Sacrifice came to mind while I laid there with him. Everyone warns you right before you give birth to savor your last days without as much responsibility. People who don’t want kids often say they don’t want to sacrifice to much of themselves or their time. There I was in bed, giving all of myself and my time to the little human being my husband and I created… It was a seemingly mundane moment that held so much value. 

I could’ve been upset with myself or with the situation but I wasn’t. I wanted to be a mommy more than anything in the whole wide world. It’s become my favorite role and the biggest part of who I am. 

The quiet moments when he’s calmly laying beside me are some of my favorites and I will savor each and every one. He’s bound to grow up and these moments will become rarer. 

The household work, on the other hand, will always be there. It can wait. My baby can’t. And he shouldn’t have to.

Bring your Baby to Work

Filed Under: Baby L, motherhood //

This week I was fortunate enough to be able to bring Baby L to work with me. I honestly think he knew he was in for a treat because he was smiley all morning. I’m lucky to currently work somewhere that values family. If your your workplace is suitable for a baby and you’re allowed to bring yours along, I’d do it. It makes the day fly by and your mood will be better than it is on any other workday.  
 
When we arrived at my job, everyone was so excited to meet him. Aside from an early hangry meltdown, he was pretty content. He even took longer than usual naps, which I suspect was due in part to him being introduced to so many new people and a new place. 
 
 
I made sure to pack extra outfits in case he needed to be changed and four to five toys to keep him occupied while I was busy. Some of the toys that I like to bring are rattles or crinkle books, they are educational and Montessori-aligned. If you are looking for the same, head on to this website that provides an overview of Montessori products. He played in his stroller and on my lap while I did my work and surprisingly, I was able to finish all of my tasks for the day. I felt like a supermom for sure. 
 
It might not be possible to do this as often as I’d like but I am definitely going to bring him again. There was such a shift in my office aura for me. I was so much happier to be with him all day AND determined to finish my work. It felt so nice to be able to share a day in my life with him. We took quite a few photos because I want to be able to show him that I try my very best to spend time with him even though I’m a working mom. 
 
This was just another day in my life as a mommy. Balance. It’s the one word is describe what life is like now. Balancing his needs, my needs, my husband’s needs and the needs of our little family. I’m still figuring it all out but I’m getting better at it everyday. 

Go Abby, Beat Cancer! {my little cousin’s cancer fund}

Filed Under: Uncategorized //

I’ve alluded to it being a down time and my family receiving sad news recently. Well, that sad news was that my beautiful and bright little cousin, Abby, has cancer. Quite the bummer, believe me. Everyone is sad but also optimistic.

Though Abby is just 16-years-old, she is braver than just about anyone else I know and, truth be told, I’ve found myself looking up to her. The way she’s handled the news, the medical tests and the process is truly admirable. 
There is no doubt she will beat this with her optimism and strength but financial help would be greatly appreciated to help with the costs of medications and a fertility plan. Please find it in your heart to donate–any amount makes a difference.
Thank you all! ❤ #teamabby

Despite the ugly, life is beautiful

Filed Under: Uncategorized //

This past weekend was just what the doctor ordered. Family time. A wedding to celebrate love and dance the night away with loved ones. A visit to a farm for pumpkin picking and hay riding. It was the perfect amount of carefree sprinkled in with love, laughter and good times. 

The past few weeks, on the other hand, have not been as carefree. They’ve been sort of a roller coaster. I’ve cried lots–many happy and sad tears–from going back to work to figuring out finances to some sad news. I’m an emotional person so it should come of no surprise. I’ve also found my mind wandering. 
Wondering what’s next. Thinking about the worst case scenario. Feeling stressed and broken and yet whole and the happiest I’ve ever been. Asking why and how and when. 
Why can’t everything just be great?
When will there be change? 
When will everything be better? 
When will the weight be lifted? 

I’m obviously very focused on the when–because knowing that tidbit would make me feel a whole lot better. But that’s not the reality of life, most of the time, anyway. 

Then, there’s politics and a presidential candidate who’s attempting to normalize discrimination and sexual assault. I can’t believe these are still issues in 2016. It’s scary. I digress. 

If I sit and really think about it, life is scary and hard. There can be moments of rejection. Violation. Abandonment. Bad news. Heartbreak. Now, don’t get me wrong–no one said life is easy. After all, what worthwhile things are? Life is messy and confusing. It can hurt and be a sad reality. 
But it can also be so amazingly wonderful and full of hope–that’s what looking at the world through a fresh set of eyes with a little one has reminded me. 
Despite the ugly, life is really, really beautiful. 
So don’t get stuck on the negatives. Learn from them. Embrace them and move on from them. Look for the positives. Reach for them and hold onto them. Because this life–it’s worth it all. The good, the bad, the ugly… Because the happy and beauty are just around the corner. And those are surely worth it.