Moments of Musing

The end of my maternity leave is near…

Filed Under: Baby L, motherhood, working mom //

For those who know me, it should be of no surprise that I’ve already had a meltdown about going back to work. In fact, I shed a few tears while writing this.  To say I am sad is an understatement.

I am scared to miss Sebastian’s firsts. His first crawl, word, steps. 
I am worried he won’t love me as much. I don’t want him to feel less loved because I am around less.
I am anxious to spend most of our days apart. I wish I could spend more than just a few hours together during the week. My 1.5 hour commute doesn’t help much. 
I am sad that I’ll miss his good morning smiles and happy moods. I’ll most likely be leaving the house while he’s still fast asleep. 
I do hope he knows I am doing this for him. To help our little family. I hope he grows up to be proud of the mom I am and try to be. Moms who’ve gone back to work after having a baby–PLEASE share your tips! Much thanks in advance.

XOXO

Time was our only obstacle

Filed Under: long distance, love //

It has been a little over two years since Tim got out of the Navy and joined me in civilian life. Basically, it’s been two years since we really started our life together. 
Recently, while sorting through boxes, I came across an old calendar I had given him when we were still in a long distance relationship.
Each month had a different quote (authors unknown). Put together, they read:
“No one comes to you by accident. There is no such thing as coincidence. I know the circumstances and I’ve accepted them. Loving you is worth all of it. And though sometimes you have to be apart from your love… Being apart doesn’t make you love any less. Sometimes you love more. Our life together will be worth waiting for. Time is our only obstacle. And like all things it too shall pass. The day will come when we will be together like we have planned. And that is surely worth the wait.” 
Looking through the calendar brought me back down memory lane at how new and strong our love for one another was  despite the thousands of miles between us. It laid the foundation for the even stronger love we share now. And it’d made me extra  grateful to be living our life together today.

Baby’s Napping Nook

Filed Under: Baby L, nursery, nursery nook //

Remember when I blogged my nursery inspiration board? Well, to say my inspiration has changed a bit would be an understatement.

I’ve yet to decide on a crib, I returned all of the owl bedding and decor, and we’re now back at square one. I’m looking into mixing and matching pieces rather than having it be matchy-matchy and all from the same bedding set. I feel better about starting with a clean slate again.  

The only thing I’ve always been sure about has been this teepee. My husband set it up yesterday and we put Sebastian to nap inside. He seemed happy when he woke up and I hope he’ll enjoy it even more as he gets older. 

I’ll be sharing my nursery nook inspiration soon, and why it’s called a nook. First, I have to decide the theme and decor… I’ve never had this much fun planning a space! Stay tuned 🙂

If we go on a coffee date

Filed Under: life, life lately //


I’d probably tell you that I gave up coffee during my pregnancy (except a frappucino I had) and now indulge in it a bit less. 
I’d most definitely speak about our baby Sebastian and how amazing he is, how much he’s changed since birth and how bittersweet that is. 
I’d tell you motherhood is no walk in the park (despite how many literal walks in the park I’ve taken with him) but that it is my dream come true. He is my dream come true. 
I’d divulge that I have mixed feelings that it is September and almost fall. I love the cool weather and the fun activities this time of year brings but (and it’s a BIG but) I’m sad my maternity leave ends this season. 
I’d let you know that I’m living in the present more. Sure, I daydream of next year’s Disney World vacation and a Santorini vacation sometime after that but for now, I’m loving the everyday joys. 
I’d be excited to share with you that I’m planning Sebastian’s Baptism, which I’m excited for. It felt surreal going to the Baptism parents class… and I just hope we both fit in our outfits.

I’d say thank you for your time and company!

I’m a good mom

Filed Under: Baby L, motherhood //

I nicked the baby’s thumb yesterday while cutting his nails. He had been happy and smiley and bam! he started wailing as soon as it happened. I didn’t cry then because I knew I needed to soothe him and make sure his finger was okay. I had to keep my emotions in check.

I immediately picked him up to try to soothe him and calm him down. I knew he was in pain because he was whimpering, frowning and letting out small cries even after wailing. I then cried because I felt absolutely horrible. 
After he calmed down, I cleaned his (little) cut with water and fed him. He fell asleep in my arms shortly after. He’s laying in my arms as I write this. 
It was my first time crying with him. I didn’t cry when he wailed during his newborn blood test when they squeezed blood out of the sole of his tiny foot. Or when he wailed during his newborn doctor visits because the last thing he wanted was to be naked (to be weighed) in a cold office and was hungry. Those times, he wasn’t crying because of me, though. This time, however, was my fault.  
As I sit here with him in my arms, I realize this is a common occurrence among parents and that it might very well not be the last time I unintentionally hurt him–though I hope it is. I realize it was an accident. And that it doesn’t make me a bad mom. 
Neither does feeding him formula because I was unable to successfully breastfeed. 

Neither does having to get a C-section because I wasn’t able to deliver him naturally.

Neither does having to return to work next month to help provide for him.

I love him with my entire being. I’d give my life for him. I’m doing the best I can to be the best for him. And I think that makes me a darn good, if not great, mom.