Moments of Musing

A good person

Filed Under: Marriage //

I recently got into a debate (with a man). The topic of our discussion was whether a wife should be expected to cater to her husband, i.e. cook for him, serve his dinner, iron for him, pack for him, etc. 

(Note: if you are a wife and you enjoy doing these things for your husband, that’s great. Expectation is very different from desire.)

When I expressed concern over having been told (by other people previously, not by the man) what I, in order to be a good wife, ought to do for my husband, the man said (not verbatim) that it’s okay for a girl to be raised to be a good wife because it’s sometimes necessary in order to hold on to a good man. 

I let that digest for a few seconds. And then I explained that I grew up striving to be a good woman, and a mom. 

I might have grown up in a romanticized world and I might have always wanted to get married, but until I got married I had never centered my life around becoming a good wife. How could I even be a good wife if I am not a good woman?

Then, I thought to myself: even more than a good woman– I want to be a good person. I want to live life to the fullest, I hope to help others, I desire to be a kind and compassionate person. 

Don’t get me wrong–I love my husband deeply. I have served Mr. L dinner. And I’ve also ironed for him, I’ve done his laundry, cooked for him. He’s also done the same for me. Mutuality is our key. I hope we always practice it and I hope we can show our children just how important that balance is. 

Anniversary photo shoot previews

Filed Under: anniversary, love, Marriage, wedding //

“Wedding days are beautiful and meaningful and they mark what’s considerably the happiest day of each couples life. But the aftermath of a wedding is many, many happy days that aren’t as loud, or as profound as the actual day itself, but they’re just as meaningful if not more. Anniversary sessions say ‘We still do.’ And isn’t that what it’s all about? Looking at each other and still wanting to say I do, over and over again.” – Hayley of Hay Alexandra Photo

When I first had the idea of doing a First Anniversary Shoot (a month early for weather reasons), I said I wouldn’t share the photos because some people think it’s weird to wear your wedding dress again. Well let me tell you, brides– PUT THE DRESS ON AGAIN! 
Seeing my husband look at me and tell me how beautiful I looked in the dress brought back all of our wedding day memories, but even more special than that was the reminder of how happy I am to be married to the love of my life… Plus, I’ve gotten more wear of the most beautiful (and expensive) item of clothing I’ve owned.
The shoot itself was so much fun. It was 3.5 hours of traditional and non-traditional locations and poses. Our photographer, the super sweet and talented Jen Larsen of Jennifer Larsen Photography, even sent us a preview Saturday afternoon, a mere few hours after the shoot! Imagine my thrill in the middle of an apple tree farm. 
Without further ado, here are a few previews:

If you’re in the NY/NJ area and you’re in the market for a photog, you should really consider her!!

To Travel and Beyond

6 Months a Mrs.

Filed Under: Marriage //


Saturday marked six months of marriage for T and me. We spent Friday night watching our wedding video and Saturday adventuring throughout Chicago (more on our day later this week). When we got home, it was studying and school work until Netflix time. After my studying, I spent a good portion of the night looking through photos taken throughout our relationship. It got me thinking. We’ve done time on a aircraft carrier and deployments (T), law school (me), 5,000 miles of long distance for years, various moves and now here we are– very happily married. 

In the short time I’ve been married, marriage has taught me a lot. In honor of six sweet months, here are the top six things I’ve learned:

1. Life has a funny way of working out. Never did I think I’d meet my future husband out in Las Vegas. Never did I think my future husband would be in the military and never did I think I’d ever be able–or willing–to be in a long distance relationship. 

2. It’s important to appreciate everything your spouse does. I’d be lying if I said T and I didn’t get into little tiffs. About dirty clothes and dishes. About eating out too much. About the silliest things. But it’s important to realize all that he does. Honestly, I wouldn’t eat dinner everyday (when I lived alone dinner sometimes may or may not have been a smoothie or a bag of baked chips) and the house would fall apart without all his help and I try my best to acknowledge this. 

3. Having photos and video of our wedding was the best decision, next to choosing one another as husband and wife, of course. It allows us to relive the fleeting moments of that special day that at times felt surreal. From our video we were also able to capture some pretty awesome stills (like the ones in this post) different from photos taken by our photographer. Photos and video of our everydays are also just as enjoyable to look back on.  They help to put things into perspective when I’m being bratty, too. 

4. Being both best friends and lovers goes a long way. I’m not sure if it’s love talking but T is the funniest person I know. I know a bunch of people who would agree. It’s one of his greatest qualities so we are constantly joking around. I love to laugh and I love to make him laugh. It’s helps us so much when we’re stressed but it’s also in those moments when I feel absolutely head over heels for him. 

5. Honesty really is the best policy. This should go without saying but hiding things from one another–whether it’s feelings or a purchase–would be toxic. We’re really open with one another and joke that we need more private space. But honestly, I hope we’re always this open with one another. 

6. Say I love you as often as possible. We probably say it more on any given day than we can keep count of. I think that’s good because they’re my favorite words to hear from and say to him.

As you can tell, he’s pretty much my favorite human.