Moments of Musing

Out with the Next, In with the Now

Filed Under: aloha //

Happy October! I receive bar results this month – nerve-wracking is a complete understatement as to how this waiting game feels. Let’s focus on the present, though — shall we?

Upon reading the article, 26, Unmarried, and Childless, the very last sentence jumped up at me and I invite all of the people in my life to do the very same thing: “[D]on’t ask me what’s next. Ask me what’s now.” 

 

 
Like the author, I do not have a husband. (I do have a great boyfriend.)
 
I don’t have kids. 
 
I currently do not have a career (…since I am still waiting for bar results).
 
But –on most days — I am over-the-moon-happy. And it’s a lot easier and feels a lot better to be happy when others recognize that I’m okay with not being married right now, I’m more than okay with not having children right now, and I am enjoying my life pre-career. Too often we think about what is coming. I’m guilty of it. I wonder “when will Tim and I get engaged and married?” There, I said it. I think about that. And I do think about when kids will come into the equation. And Lord knows I wonder everyday what my career will be [like] and whether I’ll be any good at it.
 
For now, however, I am more than happy with my kickass boyfriend. I am happy dating and exploring the world with T whenever we feel like it. That will all change when kids come, which we very much want. But for now, it’s us (sometimes 5,000 miles apart, which wouldn’t be feasible with kiddos) and we’re happy with that. And I am happy writing on my blog these days and expressing myself in ways that I never have and more than I ever thought I publicly would. I will eventually have a career – along with the many years of working that will probably come with it.
 
Sometimes, as much of a planner as I am, I like not thinking about the future. So I’m going to do less of it and live in the now. Embrace it. Appreciate it. Bask in it. Love it. All I really do have and know is now – so I won’t waste it worrying about the next thing that might never even happen. 
 
And when asked by someone about what’s next, I’ll simply explain what’s now.
 
—————————
 
Speaking of what’s now – 
 
I am SO excited to see an article of mine on SpouseLink.org. Check it out here: https://www.spouselink.org/blog/blogging-a-coping-tool!
 
Oh, and I just found out this morning – shortly after posting this – that I PASSED THE ILLINOIS BAR EXAM! Chicago here I (and Tim, next year) come!!!!!!
 
 

A Good Human Being >

Filed Under: aloha //

Last week, I chatted with a classmate who said she had been wondering how I was able to be here in Hawaii for so long and not be working. I responding that I was essentially enjoying life before my prospective job. 
As nice as it sounds, though, sometimes I feel like I’m currently not doing enough as the only unemployed-ish one of my friends and as I see peers starting their lawyer jobs and whatnot. 
But I’ve done what I could and had to do and I’m going to make the most of my time now – I’d like to think I deserve it and maybe even owe it to myself after the past 3 years. Then, I saw this article by Olivia Wilde in my friend Karintha’s post. And it, especially #1: “DON’T freak out about all the brilliant people who accomplished more than you by 30”, struck a chord. Olivia speaks of the importance of and the unsurmountable success — above all else — that is being a good human being.
So, sure, I might not be think I am accomplishing as much as others right now, but I try everyday to be a good daughter, sister, friend, girlfriend, and person. To be a good human being. And I’m coincidentally enjoying my life along the way.

My time here was much needed. These days, I feel more at peace. Like a more complete person. A better version of myself. I can’t exactly explain it but good morning and good night kisses from T, my solo kitchen experiments, and beach days by the Pacific Ocean (just to name a few things) have simply been so calming and good for my soul.

Image may contain: sky, tree, cloud, outdoor and nature

It’s all making me even more capable of being a good human being. 
And that’s better than any other accomplishment.

Lately Loving

Filed Under: aloha //

My date night *arm party* brought to you by Alex and Ani (initial charm bangle) and Francesca’s (white stone bangle) [other bracelets’ brand unknown].
My newfound enjoyment of cooking. Here’s last night’s dinner – honey mustard chicken with onions, tomatoes and mushrooms, on top of homemade mashed potatoes.
Tim’s humor. So glad I get to joke around with my best friend for the rest of time.
This. Here’s to living a happy life NOW.
Something I didn’t really love was tonight’s (HST) blackout, which began while Tim was at work. The power company is outside (unsuccessfully) trying to get our electricity back on. It’s my first blackout alone so I do feel like this is some sort of accomplishment… I’m always searching for the positives – you know me 🙂
Plus T’s humor (ftw!) helped lighten my mood. 

Me vs. T

Filed Under: aloha //

Timmy and I celebrated 2 years and 8 months Saturday 🙂
 

 Pokai Bay, Pililaau Army Recreation Center– Such a great, low-key beach find!!

In honor of our monthiversary, we did this little challenge to see how well we remember our relationship details. It was actually quite fun(ny):
 
How long have you been [together]?  
We have been together for one day shy of 2 years and 8 months – since January 14, 2011. 
Coming up on 2 years and 8 months.


Where was your first date? 
At a restaurant in NYC’s Southstreet Seaport Mall. The mall sadly closed on Monday night 🙁 
Well, I guess our first official one was at that restaurant overlooking the water by the bridge.
Where was your first kiss?

Las Vegas.
Vegas.


Who said the first “I love you”?
I was technically the first one to say it, while intoxicated. He brought it up the next day and said it said sober.
Jackie, ha!


What is her most commonly used phrase?
Hmm probably “I do what I want” joking around. I’m not so sure about this one. 
“I don’t care” with a thick NY accent.

Who is her celebrity crush?

I don’t really have one. Channing and JT perhaps. 
Probably Channing Tatum’s punk a$$.


If she was ordering drinks for both of you what would you each get? 
I would get a glass of water with lemon. Timmy would get a whiskey and coke or a beer.
She’d get a water to start and I’d get a beer and a water.


What is the best meal she has ever cooked you?
Fig balsamic chicken or breakfast.
The first meal she’s cooked us from scratch – balsamic chicken.


What is the worst meal she has ever cooked you?
Hamburger Helper lol.
Can’t think of much – that plain oatmeal the other day wasn’t too good.

What is the most-played song on her iPod?
Don’t even listen to my iPod lol but I listen to country, and mainstream pop and hip hop a lot.
She barely even uses her iPod.


What would she say is your most annoying habit?
Farting to annoy me or not cleaning right after himself. 
Being a guy – being a dirtball sometimes.


What is the last thing she does before she goes to bed?
Kiss T good night and say I love you. Probably talk to him a little after that. 
Kisses me and tells me she loves me.

If you could throw out one item of her clothing what would it be?

I hope nothing!
I wouldn’t. I’m not going to get caught throwing away some of her clothes – that’s a death wish.


What would you say is your favorite thing about her? 
My beauty, brains and big heart – his previously used words, not mine… not that I disagree 😉
Personality. I like her. Yea, she’s beautiful but there’s more than that. I would say sense of humor but I don’t want to give her too much credit.


What’s her go-to drink at Starbucks? 
Java Chip or Mocha Cookie Crumble frappucino in summer. Peppermint Mocha latte in winter.
Java Chip frappucino.


What’s her blog’s name?!  
City Girl Finding Her Place in the World 
City Girl, something about finding her path and making her mark in the city living her life… This is hard because she has different names for each of her blogs. I just type in jaclara and it comes up in my web history.

And then T said: “Babe, this is taking longer than expected. I have to get ready for work soon.” Followed by: “It’s done?? Perfect timing. Let’s watch the League.” And: “Are you writing what I (just) said? I didn’t know I was on the record and that anything I said can and will be used against me in the court of blogging. So help me God. That’s actually a cry for help.” 

And on that note… Have a great Monday! 

 


Mental Images

Filed Under: aloha //

Yesterday, T’s alarm went off just 4 hours after we’d gone to bed. He wanted to take me on the Lanikai Pillboxes hike during sunrise, something I’ve been wanting to do for a while. When we reached the first pillbox, I was taking photos and asked if he was going to take any. He said he’d capture mental images of the moment instead. 
 
I thought to myself – you know what, that’s not a bad idea – so I stopped what I was doing and watched the sunrise. A couple minutes later I went back to taking photos for memory keeping sake (but I didn’t upload any to social media for a few hours – no social media during hike and sunrise time!). And eventually T took some photos, too, because he also likes the idea of having them to look back at in time. 
 
But as we were getting ready to go, I told him something I’ve been noticing while taking photos here – that the photos just didn’t do the sunrise (or any of life’s beauty) justice. Because they don’t. It’s why I think it’s important to stop what we’re doing when we’re doing it and just look around us. Take mental images. Appreciate the beauty. The peacefulness. Surroundings. Our companions. Those moments will never come again, and though we might be able to capture their essence in photos, they will never be able to replicate the moments 100%. Mental images might eventually become flaky but I can vividly remember some of my favorite moments and I think those memories surpass any photos I’ve taken.
 
Though, photos are wonderful to have. I don’t deny that.