life change Archives - Moments of Musing

boys, babies, brothers, beach, summer 2019, working mom, summer with kids, lawyer mom, mom life, work from home

When I was about to return to work from maternity leave after having my firstborn, I thought I might want to be a stay at home mom. Since then, I have learned I want, or rather need, to work (whatever that might look like) in order to thrive as a mom, as a wife and as a person.

That being said, I have recently experienced a big career-related change.

In some ways, my decision feels like a long time coming. In others, it feels surreal.

I dreamt of attending law school and becoming a lawyer for as long as I can remember. I’m pretty sure it was as close to a lifelong dream as any. To have such a dream realized is indescribable, even if it came with a lot of student loan debt… I do not for one second regret any of my decisions. I am a true believer that each one has led me to the life I live today.

The thing is … that was my dream, then.

They are my dream, now.

These days, my life revolves around being the best mom I can be to my two babies and building upon a healthy marriage with my husband. That means I want to spend more time with my babies, and less time away from them. I want to bring them to play dates and story time, to make their meals, and to teach them things. I want to be more involved in their everyday lives, not just on weekends. I want to be more present.

That is why I have made a big decision and big life change.

I am leaving the legal field and I am transitioning to a work-from-home communications position (within the same organization).

My husband and I work hard and work together to create a life for our kids that is everything we hope it could be. So, I will continue working, just in a different capacity. I am nervous, excited, anxious and every other feeling you can imagine would come with a change this big.

Mostly, I am grateful to my employers for this opportunity, and to my husband and family for their support.

Boys, Mommy will be home with you full-time!

As a little girl, my dreams were very different than how my life is now. That does not mean those dreams were any less valuable or worthwhile. They probably are even moreso now. Lately, the dreams of my younger self have been on my mind and on my heart.

Do I follow those dreams?
Will they keep me back from my dreams now?
What is the best thing to do?
What should I do?

This all brings me back to my solo move to Chicago. Initially, my dad was for it and my mom against it. As it became clearer that I had a good shot of landing my dream job, they did a role reversal! My dad didn’t want me to move but my mom was all for it (I think it really was because she knew how excited I was).

They’ve recently done the same thing again– having initial opinions and then changing their minds. Yes, here I am, 30-years-old and a mother seeking the advice of my parents. While I am an adult with children of my own, their opinions are still something I sincerely value.

I think as parents they worry about how change would affect me, and now also the family Tim and I have created. Of course, Tim and I have thought about that, too. I’ve thought about it a lot and all the unanswered questions scare me. Heck, just the thought of change can overwhelm me.

So, I remind myself:

Change is inevitable. It happens every day, every moment to people all over the world.

And yet, it still has the ability to push me out of my comfort zone, for good or for bad (… but hopefully more for good in this case.)

Because change is scary. Along with change comes so much unknown, many more what-ifs, and a lingering wonder about why and a constant question of whether it is worth the risk.

We can’t really know the answers until we try though, can we?

That being said, our family is about to experience a big life change. Stay tuned for what it is!

My Dream Now (BIG ANNOUNCEMENT)

Change is Coming… and How I Feel About It