Moments of Musing

Reflecting on Five Years of Marriage

Filed Under: anniversary, love, love story, Marriage //

love, marriage, love story, anniversary, marriage is work, parenthood, marriage as parents, married with kids, new york blogger, new york couple, long island blogger, long island couple, latina blogger

Ours is a love story that movies are made of — not simply because it is romantic and full of love, which it is (he rescheduled 3 flights for me the weekend we met!), but because it has always had its share of complexities. 

We grew up very differently. Even when we met, our lives were vastly different. He had just returned from a seven month deployment with the Navy and I was in my first year of law school. I wasn’t even single at the time…

Our pasts have given us distinct experiences and helped mold us each into who we are today. And though none of it can be changed, we hold the power to rise above and heal traumas, to continue traditions and make our own fond family memories and to grow into who we are while building upon our strengths. We can help one another do that — and we try our best to. 

This means marriage, especially after having kids (because #parenthoodisstressful), has taken work. We have had to work each and everyday of our relationship to become better individually and together. It might not sound all perfect and pretty — and that’s because it isn’t. It’s better than that — it’s real. 

We are each other’s compass when one of us is feeling lost. We are each other’s shoulder when ours feel too heavy from burden. We are each other’s safe place when the world outside feels too cold or scary. We bring out the best parts of each other and help work through our not-so-great parts. 

Ours is a love story that has withstood doubt, distance, fear and darkness. It has given us the greatest gifts in the form of our sons. And it is based upon a love that continues to evolve, grow and thrive. 

Cheers to us!

What Happens in Vegas … (Our Love Story)

Filed Under: love, love story //

Doesn’t always stay there :)

I am finally breaking the ice and talking about how Tim and me came to be “we.” 

Las Vegas, January 2011

 
The 14th of every month is special because Tim and I met by chance / luck / fate in Las Vegas (Koi Lounge in Planet Hollywood to be specific haha) on January 14, 2011. I was there with my cousin and her friend to celebrate my cousin’s 21st birthday. Tim was there with his brother – he was on leave following a 7-month deployment out to sea. His and his brother’s flight was set to leave Vegas the night we met … but we met and he thought I was someone he couldn’t pass up an opportunity to get to know so … he rescheduled his flight.   
 Now, I don’t believe in love at first sight (if I did, however, this would be the time for it!), but I do believe that when you know, you just know. I can’t explain how I knew or how it felt as I’m sure noone can whose felt that way but it is exactly what happened in the moment we met.

NYC, March 2011

 So that night we met, Tim rescheduled his flight (unbeknownst to me), we hung out and spoke for a while, and then each went back to our respective hotels. The next morning, I woke up to a voicemail and text from him (apparently, we’d made plans to all hang out after we changed out of our club clothes but the girls and I passed out haha) and in acting completely out of character, I texted him back. The rest is history…

VA, July 2011

Tim wound up postponing his flight 2 more times to hang out for a few more days. (In retrospect, I am very grateful for his spontaneous decisions and those days together because I now know how precious just a few days with one another are.) When we each got back from Vegas, things were a bit hectic. I was involved with someone else but knew that had reached its end so I broke off the relationship. Tim also went underway for 3 weeks, during which we communicated via email and 2 phone calls. When he returned, he visited me in NYC, my hometown and where I am currently living and going to law school. That weekend was amazing; it was like we’d known each other our whole lives so we were excited to set our next visits up. At the time, he was stationed in Norfolk, VA so we went between VA and NY every 2-4 weeks until October 2011 …


 DC, August 2011

Because Tim reported to his new station in Hawaii in October 2011. He received his orders in June 2011 and I was devastated. In August 2011, there was an issue and I prayed he would be kept in VA but as God would have it, his orders were straightened out and he was sent to sunny Hawaii. He made a brief proposition that I move and settle down there with him but I didn’t want to rush anything and I had two years left of study at a good law school. Deep down, we both knew I had to stay back on the East Coast. 


Hawaii, May 2012

The distance between us therefore became 20x greater. But we manage as best we could and we do a pretty darn good job at it, if I may say so myself. We try our best to visit each other every 2-3 months – aside from when he was deployed to Europe June – December 2012. During that time apart, our longest stretch yet, there were rocky moments. But there was also much bonding and strengthening of our relationship. I looked forward to making care packages and receiving little packages and presents in the mail myself.

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Detroit (Lions football game), December 2012
 
Tim’s ETS is in the summer of 2014 🙂 We hope to live together (temporarily) in late summer to early fall of 2013 and then to live permanently together when his military career is done. It’s nerve-wracking making big decisions and thinking about his life without the military but I think he is ready for the next chapter, as am I. Don’t get me wrong, I love and support the military 100%. But it has been difficult maintaining a long distance relationship and juggling the constant changes that come along with his active military career while I’m in law school. 

NYC, January 2013

For now, we’ll be traveling back and forth over the 6,000 miles as the teammates we promised each other we’d be from the beginning… and we’ll be very busy finding a job and settling down somewhere (me), and preparing to get out of the military and joining me (him). Our situation is difficult but I think we’re walking proof that love prevails and that there is no such thing as mere coincidence (to me, anyway). God brings people into our lives for a purpose. I thank God often for bringing Tim into mine.
 
 NYE 2013
 This is us. People didn’t think our situation would work. And it probably wouldn’t for most. But where there is love, there is hope and so far, it’s worked just fine for Tim and me.
If you stuck with me and read this until the end, thank you. I hope you enjoyed our story and feel free to share yours, if even just tidbits 🙂 
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