Moments of Musing

Balancing Kids’ Screen Time

Filed Under: motherhood //

This post is sponsored by Oxford University Press. All opinions are my own.

Admittedly, I struggle with balancing my toddlers’ screen time. We had a strict “no screen time” for most of his first year, and then starting introducing kids movies and shows. He was interested in them and it gave us some time to do things we needed to around the house.

My least favorite mechanism for his screen time is the cell phone because it can be difficult to take away from him without causing a tantrum. A trick I’ve learned to use is to pretend the phone has died and needs to be charged and then move on to his play room, go outside, or partake in an educational activity. Balancing his screen time is something I deal with daily.

What is screen time? How much screen time should kids receive? Is any screen time actually good?
Tech Generation: Raising Balanced Kids in a Hyper-Connected World by Mike Brooks, Ph.D. and Jon Lasser, Ph.D. answers those questions and more. It is a helpful guide for parents to teach our kids how to benefit from technology use while also preventing its negative effects. The authors are psychologists with experience working with kids, parents, and teachers. 

Regarding screen time for toddlers, the AAP advises against screen time for kids under two years. The AAP discourages screen time (other than video-chatting) for children under 18 months. If there is screen time, it is recommended an adult interact with the child during it. Letting them use media by themselves should be avoided because interaction is crucial to kids’ development.

For kids of any age, maintaining relationships and in-person communication is important. The pull of technology can hinder those so it is important parents are aware of their kids’ technology use and manages it. Therefore, recreational screen time should be kept to one or two hours for kids over two-years-old. Of course, as parents, we have to practice what we preach. That means balancing our own use of technology, which is something I am constantly working on.

Some other helpful tips I learned from Tech Generation are:

  • Turn off ringers and notifications to avoid distraction and constant gravitation to our technological devices.
  • Keep TVs, computers, and gaming consoles out of bedrooms to enable you to best monitor your kids’ technology activity and to avoid disruption of their sleep.
  • Avoid allowing your children to become early adopters of new technologies that they are not developmentally ready for, i.e. social media.
  • Do not allow screen time during car rides, though there can be exceptions for long trips, because there is value in quiet time.

If you are at all concerned about your kids’ use of technology, you should read Tech Generation. I highly recommend it. I found the book to be extremely informative and helpful. It is particularly timely since we all stay indoors more after summer ends. 


I Received a Compliment on my Bump…2 Months Postpartum

Filed Under: motherhood, postpartum body //

I received a comment on the below Instagram photo I recently shared complimenting my cute belly/bump. To be honest, I deleted the comment (primarily because I did not want others who were quickly passing by my feed to think I’m expecting). BUT I didn’t feel too badly about the comment. 

You see, the photo was taken less than two months postpartum and I understand and appreciate my body much more now. So thanks but no thanks to the person but also, it’s okay you thought I had a belly. I’m okay with having a little belly right now. 

I’m proud of my body. It will always have some reminders of child birth (#1 being my c-section scar) and that’s beautiful. 

One day, my kids will become independent. I’ll hold them less and less and then eventually, they won’t even live with me. 

My body will always serve as a sweet reminder that some time ago I held them very close and grew them to the best of my ability in my belly for 9 months so they could be born into this world. 

For those reasons and more, love ya, bod!

*Also, please let this serve as a gentle reminder not to comment on others’ bodies unless you are being kind, certain they are expecting, or they’ve invited compliments/critique.*

The One Morning Routine Change That Has Given me More Energy

Filed Under: motherhood, self care //

Maternity leave after having my first baby was exhausting. I lost so much sleep staying awake while the baby slept to make sure he was still alive… not kidding. I would watch him breathe or awake at any odd breath or movement.

The second time around, I knew newborns have unusual breathing patterns. So, I did not really lose sleep over his breathing. However, I did lose a lot of sleep do to cluster feeding in the beginning. I’m talking 3.5 hour feeds in the middle of the night.

It was so hard.

Add in my energetic toddler and mornings were brutal. I could barely keep my eyes open. But breakfast had to be made, my toddler had to be entertained and my new baby had to tended to. Life with two under two was really difficult in the beginning. Thank goodness my husband had two weeks off (I think it really should be longer but moms don’t even get guaranteed paid leave so..); thank goodness for my mom who is very helpful; and thank goodness for the end of cluster feeding.

Even when the cluster feeds ended, though, I was still tired. I’d either stay up way too late after the boys went to sleep or my toddler would fight bedtime until midnight and I had to wake shortly thereafter to breastfeed my baby.

So, the morning exhaustion continued.

Then, one day I decided I was going to take both boys out for the first time (to somewhere other than a playground) by myself. I woke up, made breakfast, fed my toddler, fed my baby who then fell asleep to nap and I hopped into the shower.

Little did I know, that would change my energy completely. You see, prior to then, I would shower at night and skip the morning shower because mornings felt too hectic and like I said, my energy level was way down. I felt defeated almost immediately after getting out of bed.

Showering in the morning: 
1. Literally wakes me up
2. Makes me feel so much more energized
3. Helps me feel more put together 

I felt ready to conquer the day after stepping out of the shower. And so, now before going out with the boys, I try my best to hop in the shower if I have a few minutes to do. I have felt such a shift in my energy level since doing this.

What gives YOU energy in the morning?

Maternity Leave Guest Series: Transition to Pumping at Work

Filed Under: maternity leave guest series, motherhood //

As most of you know, I will be away from blogland a bit while I’m on maternity leave. Lucky for me – AND you!- I’ve partnered with some lovely bloggers to consistently bring you great content. 

I am in denial (and very sad) that I return to work from maternity leave in just a couple of weeks. However, it is happening so I want to be prepared for the transition from predominantly nursing to predominantly pumping. That is why this week I am especially happy to share an informational post by breastfeeding advocate Marilys Candelario about the transition to pumping at work. 

Enjoy!


Transition to Pumping at Work 
by Marilys Candelario

Mom hold Breast Pump
Hey World! I am Marilys, networking queen, breastfeeding advocate, and working mami. I’ve watched so many friends struggle with breastfeeding and never thought I could have a successful long nursing relationship with my daughter, Azaris. I was fortunate to find some good resources and support groups and somehow managed to nurse Azaris for 16 months. While spending countless of hours pumping at work I developed #PumpLifeChronicles to entertain myself and showcase all the cool tips and accessories I was using to make pumping seamless. I am a total amateur, bad at editing and cursed a lot so I had to remove most of the videos since you can’t be too careful with what you post on the internet these days. I hope this post helps you prepare for a seamless transition into #BreastfeedingWorkingMom life.


>>Preparing to return to work
The U.S. has a far ways to go when it comes to supporting working moms, especially breastfeeding mothers. I work in corporate america and even as a human resources professional I found it difficult to find the proper literature to support me in my transition back to work. For some women, the thought of returning to work can build a lot of anxiety and fear. Breastfeeding mom or not – it can be terrifying to leave your baby! I cried every single day the week leading up to my first day back at work. To those mothers, I assure you it gets better, especially after you spend your first few days back with uninterrupted eating while on coffee or lunch breaks! To the mothers who can’t wait to get back, shout out to you! There shouldn’t be shame in knowing you weren’t cut out to be a stay at home mom. It can be difficult to actually say out loud that you enjoy being baby free while at work and feeling like more than a human cow to your child. I am especially reminded of this every time I go to the nail salon and they ask where my baby is since I have the day off work. I say, ummmm she is at daycare because momma needs alone time- yea I said it, and I don’t feel bad!


Back to preparing to return to work…


After trying on work clothes to see what fits your post baby body, and figuring out your childcare routine, you may be full of questions like:
How do I get my baby to take a bottle?
Will I be able to pump enough milk?
How much milk does my baby need while I am at work?
Will I have time to pump at work?
How do I store breastmilk at work and during my commute?
How often do you nurse when you get back from work?
And many more….


Check out my suggestions below. I hope this helps you feel better prepared. You’ll notice I provided a lot of links to posts on KellyMom.com. This site was developed to provide evidence-based information on breastfeeding. It is crucial that you follow evidence based information rather than suggestions of loved ones to avoid incorrect, potentially harmful, advice.
 
>> Introducing a bottle
If your baby has been exclusively nursing it is important to begin to introduce a bottle so they baby can learn to transition from breast to bottle easily. Did you know there are bottle feeding techniques to protect the nursing relationship? If the bottle makes it too easy to drink the milk than baby can get a bit lazy and not want to latch or suckle at the breast which can lead to exclusively pumping if your baby ultimately refuses to latch.  


>> Building up a supply
If you are exclusively nursing or intermittently pumping it may be difficult to understand how much milk baby needs while you are away at work. A good estimate to use is the following, if baby usually nurses around 8-10 times per day, you can guess that baby might need around 3-4 ounces per feeding when you are away. You can read more about the calculation here. So in order to have the amount of milk necessary for baby on your first day back to work you may need to begin adding a daily pump session, at least a week before returning to work, and begin storing that  milk. I suggest having at least five 3 to 4 ounce bottles for your first day away. I calculated that by assuming one 3 to 4 ounce bottle every 3 hours that you are away, including your commute time. If you find it difficult to have this ready in time for work you can always supplement with formula. Don’t give yourself more stress as that can impact your supply.

>> Maintain a balanced nutrition so that your supply is protected.
   
>> Proper accessories
You’ll need the basics to properly pump, for examples: a pump, tubing, breastshields/flanges, connectors, valves,  membranes and collection bottles or bags. There are some accessories that will make your life much easier! I suggest checking out the following cool breastfeeding accessories:
  • SimpleWishes hands free pumping bra helps you hold the breast shields in place so you can be hands free during pump sessions.
  • PumpinPals are angled flanges that allow you to pump in a comfortable posture while the milk easily flows down into the bottles.
  • Freemie Cups are an accessory that replaces all the basic pumping equipment – you only need the pump and tubing, Freemie cup handles the rest. You place this cup in your bra and connect the tubing, that’s it! Check out my review here.
  • Kiinde Twist Pouch allows you to securely pump into storage bags without spilling any of your liquid gold! This leak proof disposable breastmilk storage bag is a must have!

* If you are a driving breastfeeding mom I strongly suggest considering a travel power adapter or car adapter for your pump. With the Freemie Cups pumping while driving is super easy!

>> Practice day
I suggest practicing your first day away from baby, prior to your first day at work, to help prepare you for the emotions you may feel on the real day. One way to do this can be by setting up the caregiver to start a day before you return to work. On that practice day you should ensure to pump at least 3 times every 3 hours. Example routine can be:
6am nurse
9am pump
12pm pump
3pm pump
6pm nurse


You can setup your sample routine based on your working hours and your commute. The milk you pump that day will be used for the following day. When you don’t work the following day you can store the milk in the fridge and use for up to 3-8 days, although ideally you want to stay within the 3-5 day range. If you won’t be needing the milk within that time frame you can freeze it. Note that everyone’s milk is different, please follow the guidelines for storage as described here.


When setting up your pump sessions, in order to activate let down it is important to focus on thinking about your baby. Look at a picture of your baby (nursing, if possible). Try listening to a video recording of your baby fussing before nursing and/or feeding sounds. These acts, along with massaging your breasts, will help stimulate your body to release the milk.


>> Pumping at work
Depending on your industry, your employer may accommodate you in slightly different ways. You should know you have  legal rights that protect you pumping at work and this link may help you understand how your industry can support you pumping at work.  Overall WomensHealth.gov is a wonderful resources and has a wonderful guide on how to speak to your supervisor about your needs so you can have a stress free pumping experience. It’s important to, at a minimum, discuss your anticipated pumping routine and how to manage the breaks with competing priorities, such as meetings that run over the scheduled time. There is nothing worse than having breasts full of milk and feeling engorged while a colleague continues to speak for ten minutes past the anticipated end of the meeting!


>> Storing breastmilk at work and during commute
There are many breast milk coolers that allow you to place bottles or bags with frozen ice packs inside for easy commuting. If you aren’t sure where to start here are my favorites: Medela Bottle Cooler and Kiinde Bag Cooler. Since your milk can be safely stored in a cooler for up to 24 hours one cooler bag and ice pack should be sufficient enough for your working day and commute.  


>> Nursing when you reunite with Baby
It is helpful to nurse your baby once you get home as it is easily accessible organic fast food! All jokes aside, it alleviates having to wash more pump parts and bottles but also is crucial for your baby’s bond with you. Additionally, your mammary gland receptors (located in your breasts!) interprets the baby’s saliva for bacteria and viruses and, if they detect something i.e., the baby is sick or fighting off an infection, your body will actually change the milk’s composition, tailoring it to the baby’s needs and building antibodies. Hence the saying, “I make milk, what’s your superhero power?”


Thank you for reading my post, I hope these tips were helpful! If you are interested in supporting organizations that educate mothers for evidence based mother to mother support I urge you to consider making a donation to Breastfeeding USA. I am currently in the application process to become a Breastfeeding Counselor and look forward to continuing my education with them so I can offer the best mother to mother support possible. Feel free to reach out to me with any questions: Mcolon5@gmail.com 718-308-7619 IG: @mari_vega


Thanks Jackie for letting me support you in your transition to #PumpLife

Maternity Leave Guest Series: That Time Momming Caught Up With Me

Filed Under: maternity leave guest series, motherhood //

As most of you know, I will be away from blogland a bit while I’m on maternity leave. Lucky for me – AND you!- I’ve partnered with some lovely bloggers to consistently bring you great content. 


This week, I am happy to share a post by Sierra of Beautifully Candid. She writes candidly about a time she decided to make changes in the ways she mothers. I’m sure many, if not all, of you can relate.

Enjoy!


That Time Momming Caught Up With Me 
by Sierra of Beautifully Candid

A question I get asked a lot is how I’m able to manage everything and hold everything together. And if I was being honest (which I think I always am on here), I don’t have it all together, probably not even close. Although, I really don’t know who actually has it all together. I think different things work for different people and for different families. 


I’m a working mom trying to juggle everything in a 24 hour period all while trying to cherish and enjoy precious moments with my two young sons. I think being a working mom is extremely difficult. I think being a stay at home mom is extremely difficult. I think being a mom in general is extremely difficult. 

Correction, it’s the hardest job in the world. 

I started a book, Grace Not Perfection, back in the spring but mom life happened and it sat on my nightstand and served as a coaster for my nightly glass of water for the weeks—maybe more like months—to come. It was nothing against the book, at all. I actually think I kept putting it off because I knew deep down there were changes I could be making but just couldn’t bring myself to follow through with it. 

Let’s rewind to a few weeks ago when momming finally got the best of me and I had a complete meltdown. I lashed out at my husband (who’s amazing by the way) having a fun moment hitting the t-ball in the back with my boys all while I slaved (not really) in the kitchen to prepare a home cooked meal. After my neighbors witnessed me acting like a crazy person, I made a promise to myself that night—backing off in the kitchen is ok and ruining a special moment between my husband and boys will not be happening again. 


After that crazy episode I picked up the book and began to read it again. I brought it down the shore with me that weekend and finished it on the beach. I tried to make up for my previous crazy outburst and gave some special time back to my husband with the boys who were off using a kiddie metal detector to try and find some burred treasure. When I got to chapter 11 one of the paragraphs really got me and I started to cry. Good thing I don’t wear mascara to the beach. Does anyone actually wear mascara to the beach?! And, I had my trusty sunnies to hide a lot. Anyway, it really spoke to me and I felt like if I could have formulated how I was feeling she was already in my head and wrote it all out. 

I knew right then and there that I might not be able to make all of the changes I hope for right away, but the ones that I can implement, I would. 

For starters, we have always been a home cooked meal kind of family. In general I enjoy cooking, but when you get home after 6pm everyday and everyone is hungry, it’s a race against the clock. I always heard everyone talking about these Traders Joe’s meals and how good they are, so that week we went and picked some up (shout out to the orange chicken). We decided even if we took two nights off and did a meal like that, it could make things easier. It definitely has, but I wouldn’t say it’s been life changing. We’ve tried out a cleaning service before, and while I love the smell of my house when you walk in, for the money, I don’t think it’s something we would continue with. If the boys were older and didn’t make so many messes I could see this being an amazing thing, but I can’t see spending the money to have it look messy by the next day. 

There are still a lot of things we are working on, like meal planing, taking Thursday nights to clean things up so it’s a fresh start to the weekend and we don’t have to worry come Friday, and treating the boys to a hot lunch every now and then instead of packing lunches every night have all helped. We won’t get started on laundry that continues to be my enemy and our mornings that are usually hectic because we are not a morning family, at all. 

But what I have learned is, that even in my moments of weakness, God’s grace is sufficient. That even when I fail to be an example, or let life get the best of me, there are still those moments that humble me and bring me back to reality. 

Momming isn’t easy. Keeping it all together isn’t easy. At some point it might get the best of me again. I need to continue to remind myself that while I might not be home with my kids all day, the moments we do have together are so precious. That it’s ok to ask for help or lean on friends and others moms to vent. That not looking at my day as a race against the clock but an opportunity to accomplish as much I can in that time frame makes my days more enjoyable. My boys may continue to push my buttons and cause me to question every idea of parenting I thought I had figured out, but just like I’m shown grace, I also need to show them grace. They need to be able to learn and to see us to grow as a family. 

So for the moms who may have cried those tears trying to wonder how you’re going to figure it all out, you aren’t alone. For the women who are overwhelmed with work and balancing life in general, I understand the feeling. For the women who aren’t sure about making a career move or starting something that scares you, you’ll never know until you try. For all of us, perfection doesn’t exist. Once we let go of the idea of perfection we allow the perfect lives for each of us to begin to fall into place.