Maternity Leave Guest Series: I Confess

Filed Under: guest post, maternity leave guest series, motherhood // May 14, 2018

As most of you know, I will be away from blogland a bit while I’m on maternity leave. Lucky for me – AND you!- I’ve partnered with some lovely bloggers to consistently bring you great content.

This week, I am sharing a post by Alexandra from These Mama Moments. She offers touching behind-the-scenes motherhood confessions.

Enjoy!

I Confess by Alexandra of These Mama Moments

I confess that I am not always the best or perfect mother. In fact, sometimes parenting doesn’t feel like a privilege. Sometimes it feels like a chore.

I confess that sometimes I lose my temper. Sometimes I yell and say things I don’t mean.

I confess that I’m winging it. There are no rulebooks and I wonder often if I’m doing something the right way. Often I worry about messing you up.

I confess that sometimes I get annoyed. Sometimes I just want some quiet, and that doesn’t come easy with a toddler and a baby. I confess that I am so selfish, and it’s a daily effort and concentration to put my needs aside so I can best meet yours.

I confess that I love me some baby free time. Whenever I get the chance to be alone with your dad, or heck, just alone, I eat it up and I savor it.

I confess that when I’m told you’re like me, I get worried because I want you to be better than me and be better than I was as a kid. When you don’t eat the food that I spent 20 minutes making, and the other food I spent 10 minutes making- when you just give it a glance and say, “all done”, my blood boils a little bit.

I confess that sometimes I do not know how to parent you. When you say you have to pee for the 20th time in a night and I KNOW you don’t, but you scream and throw a fit, I look at your dad in exasperation and just say, “what do we do with him?!”

I confess that I get touched.out. By the time your dad comes home from work, I’m tired of my hair being pulled and my leg being yanked and my arm being twisted (literally). I just want 5 minutes without being treated like a jungle gym.

But I also confess that I love you more than you will ever comprehend (at least until you have kids of your own). Sometimes I look at you both and just wonder how I got so blessed as to call you mine.

I confess that a lot of times when you should be in trouble, I can’t stop laughing. When you do something you shouldn’t but then flash me your smile- I melt. Always, I melt.

I confess that when you go to sleep at night, I spend an hour scrolling through old photos. Showing your dad I say, “can you even believer they were that small?!”

After a night without you, I confess I miss you so much. I always sneak in to look at you, at risk of you waking up. I confess that I text your babysitter multiple times making sure you’re ok.

Nothing in the world can melt me like the huge smile you get when you see me. I confess that when you see a stranger and you grab my leg to hide behind- nothing in this world beats that feeling.

I confess that knowing you inside and out is so much fun. Knowing that I can calm you down and make you feel better makes me feel so good.

I confess that I always try my best, even when I don’t feel like it. Sometimes my best isn’t THE best. I confess that your grace and forgiveness is worth more than you will ever know.

You both are my proudest achievement, my most beautiful creations. You are miracles from the Lord, and I promise you that not a day passes without me thanking Him so much for you.

I will fail you both so much over the course of your lifetimes. There will be so many apologies. I hope you know my heart, always, is seeking what’s best for you. Every failure I make is an effort to find that. I confess I’m probably not the best mom in the world, but I believe that I am the best mom FOR YOU.

5 on Friday: Motherhood Posts

Filed Under: 5 on Friday, five on friday, motherhood // May 11, 2018

In honor of Mother’s Day, I am sharing five of my favorite blog posts that I’ve written about my motherhood experience so far:

1. 12 Lessons in 12 Months: My First Year of Motherhood

2. To My Firstborn

3. Love Your {Postpartum} Body – 5 Ways to Improve Your Postpartum Body Image

4. What Works (for You) is What’s Right

5. I’m a Good Mom

And here’s a bonus: My Back-to-Work Plan

Happy Mother’s Day mamas! You’re all amazing and deserve to be spoiled 🙂

A Mother’s Love – No Translation Necessary

Filed Under: motherhood // April 23, 2018

I was walking on the subway platform and I saw your baby wrapped up in your arms. You looked at her lovingly, and I smiled at you. You smiled back.

I don’t know if you and I speak the same languages but it doesn’t matter.

I recognized you held your whole world in your arms.

Your hopes and your dreams. Your worries and your fears.

Your biggest accomplishment. Your “who” and “why.”

Your greatest love.

To My Firstborn

Filed Under: Baby L, firstborn, motherhood // April 18, 2018

You made my #1 dream come true when you were created. You made me a mom.

In just under two years, you’ve taught and shown me so much about life. You’ve taught me about myself and about selflessness. About love at first sight. You have given me lessons in patience day in and day out. And you’ve pushed me to give myself grace, time and time again.

You have shown me a timeless, everlasting love. A love that breaks barriers and expectations. A love that knows no end or beginning, no judgment and no fear. You have loved me when I’ve looked and felt my worst. And your love makes me feel like I am doing my best.

Your presence lights up a room, your giggles lift spirits and your cuddles carry me through my mom guilt. Your increasing intelligence and independence make me proud of the little boy you’re growing into.

You have strengthened the marriage between your dad and me. Because that’s just what you have done and continue to do — make the world a better place because you are in it. We could not fathom a lifetime without you in it.

And though our lives are about to drastically change as we add another member to our family, please know:

You (along with the baby) are and will still be loved more than anything else.

You will be the best big brother.

Your little brother will look to you in a way no one else will.

I am still 100% your mama.

We are hoping in each other, you will find a best friend and form a bond that can never be broken, and that you will walk through life feeling as though your special relationship has been a gift all along.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

Forever your mama,

Self Care as a Mom

Filed Under: motherhood, self care // February 20, 2018

This post is sponsored by Luxe & Co. but all opinions are my own.

When I became a mom, my self care quickly fell to the waste-side. I was tired and overwhelmed but more than that, I wanted to spend as much time as possible with my new baby. I’m sure this is common among moms.

In my 20 months of motherhood, I’ve gotten only three manicure/pedicures (one for a wedding in which I was a bridesmaid), one hair cut, and two hairstyles (one for that same wedding). I haven’t even used my spa day my husband gifted me last Mother’s Day…

It’s easy to get caught up taking care of my baby and prioritizing his needs while sometimes forgetting to take care of my own. Plus, as a full-time working (away from home) mom, taking even more time away to do things like a manicure just feels selfish — but not rightfully so.

Over time, I’ve made it a point to do things here and there for my mental health (work from home days, vacations, eating healthy(ish), working out, dinners with a girlfriend(s), and writing). But I want to make indulging in beauty self care more of a priority, especially with another little one on the way. I’m sure I’ll really need it then.

This past Saturday, I took the opportunity to indulge and went to Luxe & Co. in Babylon, New York for a wash and blowout. It is a chic and intimate blow dry bar that offers great service.

Upon entering, the cute decor caught my eye. The space felt warm and inviting, and the women were welcoming. I was was offered water, coffee or tea, and my bag was put away for me. I opted for a mix between the Louis Vuitton and Dior blowouts — basically wavy with some volume, and was really happy with the result.

It felt great to be pampered and relax for a bit prior to our Baby Sprinkle. My husband even commented that I seemed happier and more chipper when I got home, and I believe it. Simply put, I loved my blowout and the time for myself. Plus, it only took an hour to get it done and be back home. (The time felt even shorter because it was so easy to chat with my sweet stylist.)

As time goes on, I’m realizing more and more that taking care of myself allows me to be my best self and mom. If you’re in need of some self care, don’t think twice. (If you’re in the area, visit Luxe & Co.!)

Mama, you deserve it.