Moments of Musing

Every Mom Works

Filed Under: motherhood //

Cheers to us all!

To the mom who wakes up at 6AM to get ready for work and is out the door before your baby wakes up – I feel you.

To the mom who stays home to take care of your child(ren) and the housework – I see you.

To the mom who tries to get work done on your computer while your baby is wailing wanting to be picked up – I get you.
None of it is easy. It’s far from easy. Juggling self care and caring for your kid(s). Trying to hold your spouse up while trying to hold yourself up at the same time. Trying to be a darn great mom, partner, and everything else… and all while having to work.

You see, we have more in common than we realize. 
Whether you wake up at 6AM to get in the shower and head to a business office; or to hop on a business call; or to get some alone time before your housework begins, you are waking up preparing for work.
We ALL work.
Every mom works. 

And we’re all sacrificing. 
As a traditional working mom, you are sacrificing whole days away from your children. As a stay-at-home-mom, you are sacrificing your career and your independence–your days now revolve around your little ones’ schedules. As a work-at-home-mom, you are sacrificing the office lifestyle and some time with your kids. 
We are all doing our best to better our families–whether it’s by holding down the fort at home or helping to financially contribute for the home; whether it’s by putting food on the table literally, figuratively, or both.


So to every mom out there:

 Each of you is setting a great example. 

Each of your roles is valued. 

Each of your jobs is important.

You are important.

And let’s not forget–we’re all on the same team. 

My “Return to Work” Realization

Filed Under: motherhood //

I remember the dread of returning to work from maternity leave. The tears flowed weeks in advance. The anxiety of the unknown set in. The fear of missing out on all the milestones and firsts surfaced. 
I studied for 20 years to ultimately become an attorney. I have always been motivated and driven. I have prided myself on being a go-getter. The older I got, the more I couldn’t understand how my mom gave up her career to stay home with my brother and me. (For my parents, it was a mixture of what made the most financial sense and desire). Sure, I loved having her home but I didn’t really get it. How and why had she made such a big sacrifice?
Then, I got pregnant. I gave birth to my baby. I became a mom. And part of me did not want to go back to work (though I did for various reasons). I got it. I finally got it and I understood my mom. (I want to take a break here to formally say I’m sorry for not understanding, Mom.)

When I did return to my job a little over three months after giving birth, I (selfishly) missed being pregnant, mostly because it meant my little one was always with me. As absurd as it might sound, I wanted to be the one to carry him all the time, to spend all day with him, and to not have to miss him. 
Now that I’m better acclimated to being back at the office, I don’t miss being pregnant for that reason (as much, anyway). Because his little personality and curiosity is just so amazing … and though to share him with the outside world is as scary as it is amazing, seeing him grow and develop and flourish and happily interact with others, especially his Dada, is so worth it. 
To be honest, it’s a process. It took a bit of time to feel this way and to be okay with returning to my job. There are still days when I feel badly about it. Then, there are those other days, like when he was sick and only wanted me. Or when I heard him say “Mama” for the first time and when I saw him take his first steps. It’s as if he waited for me to get home from work to do those things. It’s as if he knows that I still want to be present for the all of his moments. That I’m still, and always will be, Mama. 
And in my heart, I know going back to work was a fine decision. I won’t miss out. He won’t forget me. I will always be Mama.

The taboo baby blues

Filed Under: motherhood, postpartum //

Last week marked eight months since Sebastian was born. These have been the fastest and absolute best eight months of my life thus far. Thinking back, the very beginning of motherhood was very different than I had imagined it to be. To be honest, I don’t know if I had a particular “picture” of what it’d look like but I certainly know how I expected to feel. And that didn’t really line up with reality for a little while.

Though there is little talk about postpartum depression, in my experience, there is even less about the baby blues. In fact, I didn’t even know what they were until much after I’d experienced them.  

All I know is my baby was one week old and I was hysterically crying…


It felt as though suddenly, I became a mom and I cared about and loved another person so much more than I’ve cared and loved anything and yet, I also didn’t feel so great.

My thoughts were quite irrational and extreme (though never about harming myself or my baby) and my feelings were overwhelming. As I (hysterically) cried after taking the baby’s One Week photos, I turned to my husband and asked him if all the crying I’d been doing was normal.



He asked, “They’re happy tears, right?” 

“Well, yeah,” I replied. 

The truth is they were happy/ sad/ scared/ anxious/ nervous/ elated/ love-filled tears. And there had been lots of them leading up to then and lots that would follow. I was just feeling SO MANY different emotions. 


Love … SO much of it that my heart felt like it could almost burst

Sadness that time was flying so quickly

Frustration with my husband for not parenting the same exact way as me

Shame about having a C-section and having pain during recovery but trying to overcome that pain


Nervousness about how to care for a newborn and how to calm his (what felt constant at times) crying

Awe at the blessing of my baby and getting to be his mom

Anxiety at the thought that I would help shape him into the person he will grow up to be

Fear that I would have little control over his external life forces

Guilt that breastfeeding was such a challenge and that I sort of resented it

Exhaustion due to lack of sleep and food (my appetite was pretty nonexistent for a bit)

Wonder about how I could still live a fun life and complete regret, shame and guilt that I was concerned about this at all (I still feel bad even admitting this)
None of the birth classes we attended, articles I read, or research I did truly prepared me for this new adventure. I had to live it to truly learn it. That wasn’t something I was used to–not being in control or prepared felt foreign. One of the only things I did know was that something just wasn’t right with my emotions–but the weight of them felt foreign, too.

While I was pretty unaware of the “baby blues” and felt isolated in my feelings, they are actually pretty common. According to the American Pregnancy Association, approximately 70-80% of all new mothers experience some negative feelings or mood swings after the birth of their child. It is thought to be related to the hormonal changes (they rise higher during pregnancy than any other time in a woman’s life and then plummet after giving birth) we go through during and following childbirth. Other changes, including the amount of adjustment that comes after the birth of a baby, along with sleep disturbance, disruption of “routine”, and emotions from the childbirth experience itself can also contribute to how a new mom feels. 

Speaking about mental health is taboo, it is not much different with this topic. There is still a stigma about feeling sad after having experienced such a beautiful thing–the birth of your baby– and societal pressure to only feel happy about becoming a mom. It is important–and I believe necessary–to have a conversation about this, though. Because juggling all these feelings can be downright scary. I just want all new mamas to know it’s okay to not feel okay; you’ll get through it; and to reach out for help because you’ve got more people in your corner than you probably realize. 

You’re not broken; 

you’ve done nothing wrong; and 

you are not alone.

Thankfully, over time, my emotions seemed to get themselves in check. I started worrying less. My husband and I stopped bickering as much. I became more confident in myself and my ability to be a mom.  Ultimately, I started to feel more like my normal self, just a different version… And I actually like this version more.


***DISCLAIMER: There is a difference between baby blues and postpartum depression. I am not a therapist or doctor nor do I claim to be. This post is comprised of my individual opinions, and not meant to convey professional medical or mental health advice. This post is not about depression or suicidal thoughts. If you or someone you know may be suffering from postpartum depression, contact a doctor. If you are having dangerous thoughts, contact help immediately. The  National Suicide Prevention Hotline is 1 (800) 273-8255.*** 

Mompowered

Filed Under: inspiration, motherhood, motivation //

Happy March! March is Spring’s month, and therefore, symbolizes a month of new beginnings. Fresh starts. Change. This is also the first day of Women’s History Month. So, what better day than today to re-launch my blog, which celebrates all things woman, mom, wife, and more? It has a new name, Moments Of Musing (M.O.M.), new(ish) look and facebook page. 

Though it feels scary to put my words out there for all to read, it’s also freeing. I have my baby boy and my always-supportive family, especially my husband and brother, to thank for giving me the courage.
Becoming a mom has been the most rewarding (and tiring…but that’s neither here nor there) life experience thus far, and I’m confident it will not be topped. Last week, I got home from work a bit exhausted but pushed that exhaustion aside to play with my baby; soothe him when he was crying because he was tired; lay next to him until he fell asleep for his nap; and then immediately missed him while he slept and pretty much stared at him until he woke up. 

…How quickly my feelings had shifted from being centered around my exhaustion to being centered around the most important person in my life–my son. That night was just another reminder that as exhausting as it may be and as guilty as I may sometimes feel, I know deep in my core that I was born to be a mom. 

That I will love being a mom more than all else. And that I am a great mom. These realizations of my ability, worth, and love have been groundbreaking. When stress feels unbearable, just looking into my baby’s eyes takes it all away and grounds me. He has that effect. Motherhood has had that impact. To make me realize that the unimportant really is unimportant and the important that much more valuable. 

Of all the hats I’ve worn, “Mom” has become the most exciting and empowering one. I grew a human, care for him, provide for him, and I am responsible for helping to mold him into the person he will become. I don’t know of a greater privilege and honor than that. I truly don’t think one exists.

It’s no surprise that since becoming a mom, motherhood has become my #1 writing topic, so I wanted my blog to reflect it more. It feels more authentic this way. I will still be writing about non-motherhood topics, as well, so don’t worry if you’re not a mom! I don’t want you to feel left behind or left out… that’s the last thing I want. ❤

It is my sincere wish that all of you who are reading–moms or not–trust yourselves enough to know that you are good enough, not just for motherhood but for ANYTHING. After all, our greatest powers lie within us.

Be sure to follow along on facebook and instagram 🙂 As always, thank you for reading. 

Give yourself grace, not guilt

Filed Under: motherhood //

Last night was rough. As was the night before. I got home around 6:45PM both nights after my usual 1.5 hour commute (don’t get me started on that), played with Sebastian, ate dinner and then bam! Whining and crying time. I had such a headache/migraine and desperately wanted a nap… I swear I’m an adult…just some days warrant naps, ya know? In an ideal world anyway. I digress. A nap didn’t happen, though, because I also want to spend as much time as I can with him while he’s awake. (#workingmomproblems) 
So, a migraine + a crying baby who’s tired and teething but won’t nap + a 1-2 hour bedtime routine = 
ONE EXHAUSTED MAMA. 
Life sure is not a piece of cake. Then again, no one has ever sold me that story. As a little girl growing up, though, it seemed relatively simple in my head. A couple meets, dates, falls in love, marries, and has kids. One parent works. The other stays home. Eventually, the kids go to school, and so on. And they all live happily ever after, of course. 

If I’m being honest, which I try to always be on here, it wasn’t until college when I realized that it most likely would not happen that way for me. I just started to really set real life goals and such in college, and so I realized my life wouldn’t be what I’d pictured when I was younger (disclaimer: it’s actually been better…stressful…but definitely better). Life is complex and murky and it is so much more than a storybook fairy tale. That does not mean it’s bad–I’m not saying that. If you know me, you know I believe life is so good and that there is good all around us. 

Life’s demands do test my emotions, though. There are still days I want to stay home with my baby boy and snuggle him all day, and when I am at work I hold back tears of missing him. There are moments when I want to just go on a date with my husband but that takes much more planning nowadays. There are times I look forward to my commute so I can have some alone time and read a book. I enjoy being at work doing what I love to do. I take pride in being a “go-getter”… but then I feel sad about all the hours I spend away from home. It all comes full circle. Instead of being hard on myself for feeling these ways, however, I realize these feelings are all very normal. I’m learning not to feel bad about having feelings and taking care of my needs. 
First and foremost, I am human. And so are you. 
So, I am not a bad mom for wanting to get some extra sleep whenever I can and being stressed when I can’t. Or for wanting to excel in my profession. Or for setting aside time for my husband and our marriage. I’m not a bad wife for not having as much time for husband as I did pre-parenthood. And I’m not a bad employee for wishing I was home with my husband and son. (Neither are you!) In fact, I know I’m a good great mom, wife, etc. (You are too!) And in order to be one, I must practice self-care. I must give myself some leeway. I must recognize the importance of my own physical and emotional health and happiness. 
After all, I have to be at my best to be the best. Mom, wife, daughter, and so on. And so to every mama — or anyone, really– who is hard on her or himself while juggling life’s many demands and/or wearing many hats, I say to you: 
Give yourself the credit you deserve.
Give yourself grace, not guilt.
You’re doing your best and that’s what matters.