Moments of Musing

The best gift

Filed Under: Baby L, motherhood //

I once asked my dad what his favorite part of fatherhood was. His answer: seeing how happy my brother and I were on Christmas morning opening the presents he and my mom, I mean Santa, bought us.
Since Sebby’s birth my dad has often said, “Everyday is like Christmas now, isn’t it?” I suppose he now sees how genuinely excited and happy being a mom makes me and in turn, it is an extension of his favorite part of fatherhood. 

This year, I am reminded of the best gift: love. My little love of my life, who was born from my and my husband’s love. The same love that has given me so much joy and has gotten me through so much in life. My parents’ love for molding me into the mom I am today. The love of all of our family and friends who have been an amazing support system. 
Here’s to wishing you are all surrounded by much love during the holidays, and always. 
Hope you had a Merry Christmas! 
Love, my family and me 

What I want for Christmas

Filed Under: life, motherhood //

Merry Christmas Week!
I’ve never really celebrated this but I think this year is the perfect year to begin, with a baby and political tensions and all. Now, for me, Christmas is family time and love and sheer joy. It’s about getting family and friends together. Love and laughter. It’s hot cocoa with marshmallows and the smell of our pine tree. Sitting by the fireplace watching movies or listening to jingles. It’s excitement and sheer joy. 
You see, Christmas is about so much more than the presents under the tree. (This realization is one that took me growing up to truly realize.) So it should come of no surprise that I don’t really want much this year. After all, I have my health and my loved ones. What more could a gal want?? 

Well, there are some nonmaterialistic and more sentimental “presents” I’d like:
Coffee. All. The. Coffee. Parent life is tiring in itself. Put together with working full time and it’s exhausting. Though it remains my favorite role in the universe, I need lots of coffee to get through my days. I didn’t drink any during pregnancy but now that I’m back to normal intake, I get headaches on days I go without. Not good, I know. But it’s necessary and I try my best to limit how many cups I drink. 
Girlfriends in gold. For my friends’ wedding, us bridesmaids were in gold sparkly dresses. We all felt like princesses and our different but similar dresses looked great together. I think we should have dress up days with each other, or just girls nights every so often. Life gets hectic and spending time with one another has become more of a feat.
The experience of Christmas magic with my baby boy. I simply can not put into mere words how much joy having him with us this year brings. I can’t. Because it’s so, so much joy. To say I’m excited for waking up Christmas morning with him and watching him “open” and play his presents is an understatement. 
Football for the family. This blanket made by my husband’s friends’ mom is our family in one. The Mr. roots for Michigan and I, of course, my alma mater PSU. We’re excited for the bowl games and to have something that includes both of our teams so our little one doesn’t have to choose…any time soon, anyway. 

Thank you, my baby boy

Filed Under: Baby L, motherhood //

I’ve traveled throughout the world. 
I’ve called beautiful cities and countries “home.” 
I live my favorite love story.
…Still, nothing has brought me more joy than being his mama, alongside my husband as his dada. 
This Thanksgiving, I am most grateful for this little one who has brought more joy and love into my life than I ever thought possible. 
He’s made me a better wife, friend, daughter, sister. 
He’s made me a better employee. 
He’s made me a better me. 
So, thank you, my baby boy. You are the light and love of my life. 
And thank you to my husband, who helped make me a mama and is on this fun adventure with me.

I am fortunate to have you boys. 
Happy Thanksgiving! 
P.S. Fellow mamas and those who have little ones in your lives- 
head over to Freshly Picked to check out their sale!

While in the baby waiting room

Filed Under: Baby L, motherhood //

I “mad dash-ed” out of work yesterday to make it to the baby’s four-month checkup. He’s developing well and reaching his milestones. That makes for a very happy mama. 

Fortunately, the doctor’s office has a baby waiting room and that’s where we go unless the baby is sicky. Yesterday while speaking to another mom in the baby waiting room, she told my husband and I about the struggles she’s having with sleep training, the baby’s weight gain and weaning her baby from breastfeeding. I shared our own struggles about our baby fighting sleep and my inability to continue breastfeeding and how bad I felt about it. 

In that time we spoke, I realized we’re all just trying to be the best moms to our babies, while balancing our wacky hormones and still trying to be loving wives. It’s far from easy and some days, I still feel like I’m not sure what or how I’m doing. Then, I get a smile from Sebastian and I know I’m doing just fine. My husband and I are doing just fine. We’re all new to this and we’re learning–together. 
Most of all, I realized the struggle (and snuggle) is real. And it’s okay–it even feels good and validating–to admit it to one another …It also made me want to make mommy friends so I’m off to look up mommy and me groups. 🙂

Motherhood: A balancing act

Filed Under: motherhood //

Sometimes when I’m with the baby, he fusses (or wails) unless he’s in my arms. That means, one-handed bottle preparations, tooth brushing, sorting the apartment, …you name it. 
Much like everyday life with a baby, various life demands have to be balanced or juggled. 
Sleep and cleaning. 
Self and him. 
Work and play(time). 

I turned down a great networking opportunity earlier this week. I originally told my dad I’d go with him and then a few minutes later, I told him I actually couldn’t. I’d already made plans for this evening and I didn’t want to spend two evenings away from the baby in one week. 

I wondered if I was being a good enough professional after I declined the invite. Pre-baby or pregnant me would’ve jumped at the opportunity but these days, quality time with Sebastian means a whole lot more than any networking event. Still, it had me wondering how exactly I’ll be able to continuously juggle everything. The short, simple answer is: I’m not sure–I’ll just try my best.  
I’m quickly realizing that this new stage in life is certainly all about balance, and I’m still learning how to do just that–while still feeling like a good enough mom, professional, wife and so on. 

The short answer: I am good enough. I’m more than good enough.