“𝘔𝘢𝘮𝘢!”
They call out for me. I am their home base, their sounding board, their protector.
“𝘔𝘢𝘮𝘢!”
George Floyd cried out to her, for her. But she couldn’t protect him from being murdered by those sworn to protect.
As a mother, I am heartbroken.
As a human, I am devastated.
As the daughter of a police officer and as a former prosecutor who worked alongside POs, I know very well the roles & responsibilities those jobs entail.
I also know those and all institutions can 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 be as “good” as their weakest links.
I know how unjust the criminal “justice” system can be.
I know how institutions meant to uphold & protect American “values” were created to benefit White Americans, & fail every single day to help communities of color.
I know that in this country and across the world, resources are not shared, but hoarded by the privileged & spread thin among those in need.
I 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘷𝘦 peace is possible—if those in power fully acknowledge the problem; hold themselves & institutions accountable; & implement fundamental, sustaining racial justice change.
White lives and “Blue” lives can not continue to matter more than Black Lives Matter.
• Black mamas are suffering from maternal mortality rates 2-3x higher.*
• Black men are 2.5x more likely to be killed by police, 3x more likely to be searched at a traffic stop, & 6x more likely to go jail than a white person.*
• Black children are 3x more likely to be suspended, 18x more likely to be sentenced as adults, and make up nearly 60% of children in prisons.*
• Black families’ median net worth is just $28.5K as compared to $265K, the median net worth of white families.*
Someone dear to me recently told me, “It was when I became a mother that I was the most deeply radicalized.”
And I felt it to my core. Motherhood has changed me fundamentally in many ways, while also amplifying my beliefs and cementing my ideals.
Motherhood has gently nudged me into the practices of radical empathy and radical compassion. And it has reminded me that conscious parenting and antiracism are practices, too—ones that must be modeled everyday because our kids are listening to us … our kids are watching us … our kids are modeling us. All of our kids are, and not just now—always.
As we begin a new week + some people move on from the initial shock of the last couple weeks, I just wanted to remind us all to continue weaving these practices into our everyday lives, practices too important to ever stop.
My heart is heavy, but my hope in humanity remains. It’s the only way I can believe that violence will end & the change will come.
Now is our time to use our privilege for good. Speak up, rise up & demand REAL change.
“𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘎𝘦𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘦 𝘍𝘭𝘰𝘺𝘥 𝘴𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘴.”-𝘶𝘯𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘯
*Source: US News
Speaking Up
As an “influencer,” and really as a person, I often ask myself what my purpose is. Am I here to try to help make a difference, or not?
I know many influencers tend to shy away from “hard” and heavy topics of [violent] racism, such as #justiceforgeorgefloyd #justiceforbreonnataylor #justiceforahmaud #christiancooper and the list tragically goes on. But who are these topics hard for? Certainly not as hard for those of us who are not Black and who don’t live the reality of constant threat of harassment or death.
If I am to “influence,” I’d personally 100% prefer it include meaningful, social and racial justice topics than not. Because what good is this platform of mine if I ignored reality?
If I did that, if I ignore the painful and scary parts of the country and world we live in and brushed over real issues, it would in a way make my whole MOM brand personally feel fluffy and 𝘧𝘢𝘬𝘦.
If I hope to empower and inspire all women and moms, I can not *ignore* racism simply because I’m not exactly sure what to say or whether whatever I do say is the right/helpful thing to say. The reality is Black families and communities unfortunately have to deal with and navigate a world full of racism, a world I would be 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭 in if I chose to do nothing, to stay silent.
So while a world full of peace and equality seems too far out of reach sometimes, we have to continue moving toward that goal. It’s not simply about loving one another more or choosing love over hate. That’s part of it. But you don’t have to love someone, or even know them, to respect them and treat them with dignity. It’s not about being color blind because unless medically so, we in fact see color very much.
It’s about practicing compassion. And it’s about confronting racism head-on— that means learning about + actively adopting anti-racist ideals and behaviors, and holding our circles accountable.
In my highlights are anti-racism resources I hope are of help. While systemic change is very needed, change starts at home — with each and every one of us.
We need to do better, and be better. I know we can, I just hope we will.
“I loved you before I met you”
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Is He Too Attached?
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“Is he too attached?,” I wonder as he cries for me and only me, yet again, as I try to get ready.
“Is he too attached?,” I wonder as he pulls me to him to cuddle while he falls asleep.
“Is he too attached?,” I wonder as he asks me to carry him once more.
Then I remember:
My body was his home.
It grew him.
Nourished him.
Birthed him.
Cuddles him.
Holds him.
Comforts and consoles him.
It’s his home.
I am his safe place.
I’m his mama.
He’s my baby.
He’s not 𝘵𝘰𝘰 attached.
He’s attached.
And rightfully so.
Pandemic Postpartum & Post-Breastfeeding Body Image
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When I received this outfit that I was so excited about, I immediately got a little bummed out thinking I wouldn’t fit into the bottoms. Like many girls and women, I’ve nitpicked my body nearly my whole life.
Too short.
Too straight.
Too this.
Too that.
Too wide.
Too curvy.
Too chubby.
Too fat.
But really, what I’ve been all along is just 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟.
While I am not newly postpartum, I am 24 months postpartum, and 6 months post-breastfeeding. Then, the pandemic happened and I’ve gained weight, and felt down about it.
So, no more tearing myself down. No more negative self talk. I am beautiful the way I am, my body has done so much good for me. And if/when I choose to work out and get fit, it won’t be because I don’t like or I hate my body …but rather because I LOVE it.
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