Moments of Musing

But a pass is always good

Filed Under: positivity //

So, remember how I blogged yesterday about remaining optimistic even though I did not pass the New York bar exam?

Well, God is good because today I woke up to news that I PASSED the New Jersey bar exam. It feels really good to know the 24 hours/three days of test-taking weren’t all for naught. 
Somehow I really think the universe is working with me. I was semi-warned of the NY results I was about to receive in my dreams (sounds crazy, I know) and then I blogged yesterday about it being okay to fail, only to receive great news today. 
It goes to show that the way we think shapes more than just our moods in the moment. I don’t want to go on and on and not make sense because I’m half asleep and too excited. But thank you for all your good wishes!

It’s okay to fail

Filed Under: positivity //

GASP! Yes, it is okay to not be perfect. To fall down sometimes. These are teaching moments. After all, they allow us to grow.

Last week I received the dreaded news that I did not pass the New York bar exam. It was the first monumental exam/ task I’ve ever not passed. And yet, I didn’t cry once, which is huge for me. My boss is awesome and my job wasn’t contingent on the result. My family and friends are great– some didn’t even believe me when I told them. And it’s not the end of the world.

I also had a feeling I did not pass, which helped prepare me for the news. Not the self-deprecating feeling I’d had two years ago when I actually did pass the Illinois bar exam. This feeling was different and the night before the results were released I actually dreamt that I failed. 
I knew I had a lot on my plate at the time–a job search, job offer, last weeks in a city we loved, and a cross country move two weeks prior to the exam… I remember breaking down and crying amidst all the boxes in our apartment and just feeling like I hadn’t prepared enough–because I hadn’t. (I’d actually overprepared for one section and underprepared for another.) 

My first feelings when I got the results were disappointment, confusion, and a refusal to study and sit for another bar exam. 
While I haven’t 100% made my decision, the confident self-competitor in me feels like I have something to prove to myself. I can’t just let my bar exam record end with a DID NOT PASS. I am not a failure–not that this one exam would ever make me that.  
And so I think you know which way I’m leaning. 

Believing in Me

Filed Under: positivity //

Today very well might be a first {something} at work. I’m excited/nervous/anxious. Skirt suit and red lips in tow, this will be on repeat in my head today:

Fall in love with your own journey

Filed Under: positivity //

I haven’t done a Monday motivation post in a while. And then I read this quote last week and decided it needed to be shared:

“Stop comparing where you’re at with where everyone else is. It doesn’t move you farther ahead, improve your situation, or help you find peace. It just feeds your shame, fuels your feelings of inadequacy, and ultimately, it keeps you stuck. The reality is that there is no one correct path in life. Everyone has their own unique journey.”
—  Daniell Koepke

So, I’m here to tell you to live your own life AND be happy with it because it is what you’re meant to be doing, where you’re meant to be, and with whom you’re meant to be.

Stop wishing to live someone else’s journey.

 
Life is too beautiful to wish away. 

More than Enough

Filed Under: positivity //

There are many things in my life that I could–and sometimes do–complain about. 

Like how the military has not-so-surprisingly given Tim conflicting EOS terminal leave dates. 

Or how I don’t make six figures like my peers working for big law firms. 

Then, there are my loans on loans on loans. 

Oh, and how about the lack of palm trees in NYC, Chicago and every other city I’d want to work in. 

What happens when I pour some gratitude into my not-so-perfect but perfect-for-me life? My attitude changes completely. And suddenly there is very little to complain about. 

Because I knew not to get my hopes up about a possible June move date and regardless, Tim will be here to experience life together with me so soon. Single digit weeks is the closest we’ve ever been to starting our life together. 

And how lucky am I to have a job that I love and get a pretty decent salary while doing so? 

The loans… they’re an investment I decided to make to go to a reputable law school. That investment helped me get said job I love so it wouldn’t be too fair to complain all that much. 

Oh, and palm trees are pretty but really, so are skylines, seasons, and public transportation, all of which you’ll find in NYC and Chicago …and none of which you’ll find where there are palm trees. 

So today, on this gloomy, muggy Chicago summer morning I’m choosing to be grateful for it all and love my life just as it is. 


More than enough, actually.