Start your week with a burning Yes
To Buy it or Leave it
That above wreath was a major point of contention in our marriage yesterday… It went a little like this:
Me: (I decided I wanted to buy a stick of leaves to make into a monogram for our door.) I formed the stick into an “L” the best I could and asked Husband what he thought.
Husband: “What, is that a J? That doesn’t look like an L. I don’t really it.”
Me: Angry and emotional. Over a stick of leaves…
Husband: Suggests buying a wooden monogram online to attach to a wreath.
Me: Stormed out of the store, with Husband close behind. But the stick of leaves came home with us and ta-da!
Looking back, I know I could’ve taken a deep breath, acted like an adult and discuss it rather than get all pissy and walk away. I’m human, though, and I’m an emotional person.
And I’m doing the best I can at this whole marriage thing. There really isn’t a handbook on how to be married. We’re learning and doing it as we go. Laughing, crying, arguing, making up–but most importantly loving– along the way.
3 things to discuss when deciding whether to move
When Mr. L and I were deciding whether to make the move from Chicago to NYC, we had to think about a lot of things. I’ll narrow the long list down to the three most important for the efficiency of this post. I figured some of you would probably benefit from asking yourselves the same:
1. Why would you move?
It could be for professional reasons, personal reasons, or a mix of the two. When I got my job offer in June, this was the most important question for us. We loved Chicago and we hadn’t planned on moving until the end of the year. Whenever I’d think of a reason to stay (I loved my job and we loved our city life), I thought about whether the reasons to go trumped it. And they did. My family, professional network, our friends–they were primarily all back in NYC or on the East Coast. Mr. L said the tipping point came while I was speaking to my dad on the phone and he suggested we stay in Chicago a little longer since I did have a reputable job I enjoyed. I started crying. Because I hated having to choose whether I wanted to see family for Christmas OR New Year; Easter OR one of the parent days (Mothers/ Fathers Day). We were missing quality time with my loved ones and my husband was missing potential career opportunities. Though we (and family) were a bit surprised by our new circumstances, we knew we had our answer.
2. Are you ready to leave where you’re living?
This was a tricky question for us. Assuming you like the city you’re in, it could for you, as well. Packing up and leaving a place you’ve called home is never easy. As for us, we loved Chicago and when the time came to move, I really didn’t feel like we had explored enough of the city. I also was not sure if it was the wiser choice for my career. (Mr. L was in school so it’d be a relatively easy transition for him professionally). Of course, this was my fear of leaving kicking in. As Mr. L would often remind me, Chicago was never in our “forever” plans. We always planned on moving back to NYC closer to my family. When I got offered the job I applied for, the decision wasn’t easy. I’d fallen in love with my job and with the city. But after much discussion, we knew it was the perfect opportunity to start life in our “forever” city. Plus, the timing gave us most of the summer in Chicago to do whatever exploring we’d like to before the move.
3. Are you financially prepared to move at this exact time in your life?
As I mentioned, Mr. L and I weren’t necessarily planning to move at the time. But when I got the job offer, we went right to planning. One of the first things I did was re-read our apartment contract regarding breaking the contract and what our responsibility for remaining months’ rent would be. Fortunately, there was a clause regarding moving for a new job more than certain number of miles away. We spoke to our building manager, who was great to work with, and were able to work out an agreement. If he was able to rent out the apartment quickly (he did), we wouldn’t have to pay anything!
A move, especially one cross country, can also be pricey. Up to or more than $1,000 pricey. Time between jobs without a paycheck can be stressful, as well. Luckily, our finances were also in order but even luckier, my job would pay out my leftover vacation and sick time so I’d still be getting a paycheck even after resigning. Look into your job policy to find out whether it’s possible for you.
I’d like to tell you the process has gone perfectly. But it hasn’t. Like most things in life, it’s been an adjustment for us both. In time, though, we have found our rhythm. Most importantly, at the end of every day, we know we made the right decision. After all, home is wherever we’re together.
Happy Mr. L’s Favorite Month
The first day of a month always feels refreshing. Like a brand new start, a new beginning. This month is a special one. We have lots of exciting things going on:
– My grandma’s birthday
– My best friend’s engagement party
– Anniversary photos (can you believe it’s almost been 11 months already?!)
– A potential Penn State visit
– Mr. L’s and my dad’s birthdays!
– Halloween
Of course, in between there’ll be an apple- and pumpkin-picking trip… This season is my second favorite, after summer, so I’m happy to enjoy it back home with family and friends.
I’ll be doing a posting soon about our move back and how we’re adjusting.
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