Moments of Musing

Is there an ideal age by which to be married?

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I recently came across a Times article about an application that purports to calculate the median age at which my Facebook friends are tying the knot. Later on in the article, however, it describes the age as the median age of my married Facebook friends. Whichever it is, I fit right in with the results I got:

To those of you who will not be married by this app’s median age, fear not. Continue experiencing life’s adventures and let the time come when it’s meant to.  

My fiancé, Tim, and I will be married in nine months. I will be 26-years-old, so I guess I am getting married right in the nick of time? You see, because the results suggest you are “left” with some time to get married to reach the median age of your friends. Not to worry though . . . it reminds you that others get married at an older age. And in the very beginning before any calculations are made the application reminds you of the median age of marriage in the U.S.:

 While I have to admit it feels kind of good to not feel like I am “dragging” behind my peers, I think a more important way of knowing when to marry is based on one’s experiences and maturity. More than the age at which I will be married (the “goal age” of which growing up used to be 25), I am happy to say that I have enjoyed college, explored three continents, and made it through law school prior to marriage. I have lived in five cities. I am gainfully employed. In fact, I am currently learning lots by living on my own and by myself in an amazing city I had never even visited prior to interviewing for my job. I have experienced heartbreak, trauma and loss, and I am stronger because of it all. I am more capable of loving myself and loving life. And I am able to experience this love, this great, sometimes trying, amazing love that Tim and I share. All because of the life I have lived.  
So, sure, while it will be nice to be married in my mid-20s like many other of my Facebook friends, I think the best of part of it all is that I will have had experienced so much of life by the time our wedding day arrives. I do not feel as though I will be missing out on anything–in fact, I am gaining a lifelong fellow adventurer. (Tim himself has traveled to many countries on three continents, and knows way better than I do about living on one’s own and in different cities.)
It is due to my experiences that I am readier for marriage than I’ll ever be–and, for me, that is more important than any age number.

 
 
P.S. Happy Wedding Wednesday!

Love Story Bloghop

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In honor of Love Month, I recently posted about my and Timmy’s love story. Laney gave me a great idea when she mentioned that there should be a bloghop for love stories. Alas this month’s bloghop was born!
city Night Owl Venting
                Bloglovin’                Bloglovin’
                Instagram                 Instagram

 

city

Paleolicous

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Happy #TastyTuesday! Yes, I just made that up and I’m now making it a thing.
I am really enjoying this whole Paleo lifestyle, as is Timmy! Sure, I had some chocolate cheat snacks this weekend and have put some Sriracha on my food . . . but other than that, I’ve been on my A game.  Here are some of my favorite paleo eats thus far:
Fruit with almond butter
Ground turkey with Sriracha, avocado with vinegar, and brussel sprouts
Kale omelet
Kale chips
And my FAVORITE so far: almond milk + banana + (100%) cocoa = paleo dessert shake

Being healthy feels so much better. Cheers to Paleo week #2!

 

Free taxi ride

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I am headed to work this morning (sometimes this working gal’s gotta work a weekend or holiday) and the forecast today reminds me of the worst weather day last week.
 
 Last Wednesday, it snowed (as usual). Not as usual, the bus was running super duper late. Taxis were mostly full and the ones that weren’t were difficult to hail.

Chicago taxis are not the yellow NYC taxis I grew up knowing.
 
Except one. When I crossed darted across the street (thank you for teaching me how to hail a taxi, NYC) and got in, I informed the driver where I was going. It was in the opposite direction but he did a U-turn and began driving me anyway. Along the way, he spotted a woman with a suitcase he’d seen waiting for the bus before he’d picked me up. He asked if I minded him picking her up, as well. I was running a tad lot later than normal and thought about saying yes but I couldn’t and didn’t want to. So I said no, I don’t mind.  
 
I was her 5 minutes ago and my great co-workers would understand if I was late. An airplane, however, would not care if she was running late. One of my worst travel fears is missing a flight — I didn’t want her to potentially miss hers either.
 
So the driver picked the woman up and the three of us chatted along the way. She was headed to the airport for a business trip. Chances were her flight might be delayed or canceled but as of the cab ride, it was on schedule. She thanked the driver and I over and over and as we approached my workplace, she told me not to pay. She wanted to pick up my tab. I, of course, thanked her but explained that I couldn’t let her pay for me.  
 
Then, I remembered: she’s traveling for business and her job would pick up the tab. Ta-da!
 
. . . And that is how a good deed got me a free taxi ride to work on a very snowy morning.
 
 

Day-by-Day, Much Love & Some Crazy

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I often get asked how I do it. The distance and long stretches of time apart. The truth is I’m not quite certain but my answer is pretty simple: I take it day by day. Most days it feels normal and I’m so busy I don’t even have a chance to dwell on our situation and sulk about the distance.
But then there are those other days. When I’m having a rough work day or week. When we are arguing. When he’s busy and all I want is to sit on Skype for hours. 
It’s in those moments that I find my strength — of which our relationship has helped to give me much more. I remind myself that this –living apart– was by choice. I remind myself why I didn’t follow him. I remind myself that I’m doing what I love and what I’d wanted to do since I was a young girl. I remind myself of my goals and my dreams and that I am working towards them everyday.

I remind myself of our love.
I remind myself that we have just months –not years– left. 

And I remind myself why I do this (the distance) in the first place. Because I love him and us. Because he’s my best friend. My soul mate. And because I’m crazy, heck we’re crazy–crazy in love. 

This isn’t an ordinary situation but this is no ordinary love. 

And soon, these years apart, the thousands of miles of distance, the underway, duty days and deployment . . . soon, those will all be moments of the past.