working mom Archives - Page 2 of 4

A Career Decision Three Years in the Making

Filed Under: motherhood, working mom, working motherhood // October 7, 2019

Me in my empty office during one of my last weeks at the office full-time.

Life bring so much change. Fall brings so much change. Motherhood brings so much change.

Three years ago last week, I returned to work from my first maternity leave. It was so hard leaving my baby boy but I was comforted by the fact that he was home with his daddy, my husband for the next five and a half months. That made nine months with a parent at home.

So, when it came time to go back to work after my second maternity leave, I felt less sad about returning to work (I knew my fears about being forgotten or not loved wouldn’t happen) but I did feel a pang of guilt that this little guy wouldn’t have a parent home with him for as long as his big brother did. I had been home with him just four months. Thankfully, he and his big brother would be staying with my mom, so I did not feel too bad.

My feelings about wanting to step away from a linear career path came up after I had my firstborn. When I calculated the time during the week I would spend away from him (55 hours/week) versus the time with him (10-15 hours/week). It broke my heart. It did not seem fair. It did not seem right. I had irrational thoughts of just quitting but with my pay being our sole source of income, I obviously could not do that. I had a baby now and I had to be as responsible as ever. Quitting would have been irresponsible.

I knew I had to step away somehow from my career after that first leave parting from my firstborn.

I spent time pondering and thinking what I could do but eventually I got into the swing of things at work. Then, my cousin got sick and it put things into perspective for me. Hours away from my kid(s) was not the worst thing in the world. There were worse things… But then, as I saw her slipping away, I kept thinking about time.

Time: we can’t get it back. We can’t buy more of it. Time just passes, and I’ve always wanted to make the most of my time, especially now as a mom.

However, it wasn’t until returning from my second maternity leave parting from both of my babies that I decided it could actually be done. An opportunity presented itself that I could not stop thinking about. I had to do it. I had to take a risk and step aside from my linear career path.

Deep down, I knew it would be okay. I do not have to be a lawyer just because I went to law school. I do not have to do anything I did not want. I can do whatever I want as long as I have a plan and I am being responsible. Besides, my law degree and law licenses will still be there. My time home with my kids will not always be a possibility. They’ll be heading to full-time school soon enough.

I’m happy and proud to say three years later, I’ve done it. My plan has come to fruition. I have a management position that I can work remotely to maximize time with my babies. While I am not in an attorney position, this feels like the best case scenario for what my heart desired. This was years in the making, and each of my babies helped me grow in this direction. I’m forever grateful to be their mama and embracing the adventure that it is.

I never know what tomorrow will bring but I know I am enjoying this adventure.

I took my kids to work with me in April.

Day 1 of a New Chapter

Filed Under: motherhood, working mom, working motherhood // October 1, 2019

Today is Day 1 of a new chapter. Yesterday was my last day officially employed as a lawyer. I spent so many years (decades), cried so many tears, worked hard and was so proud to become an attorney, and had career dreams come true so I don’t think younger me ever really saw this day coming. But then I became a mom and, well, everything changed.

Motherhood has transformed me, my hopes and my plans.

I’ll still be working (remotely), and I still have big dreams but they just look a little different.

Am I nervous? A little. Sad? A tad. Excited? Heck yes! Change can be good and I’m leaning into that belief.

Though initially apprehensive to move on from an attorney title, I am confident in my decision. I know employment titles are just that- titles. I will still work hard and I will still be valued. And this new chapter will enable me to be more present in the role of my most important title- Mommy.

Thanks to all who’ve supported my career and motherhood journeys, especially my husband and parents! THANK YOU ALL because my blog + social media presence is what lead me to my new position. And biggest thanks to my two babies who are my biggest motivation + dreams come true of all.

To those of you struggling with motherhood + career, trust yourself and your decisions. You know what’s best.

Navigating & Negotiating Working Motherhood with Riva

Filed Under: motherhood, working mom, working motherhood // September 25, 2019

Having a career (and trying to advance in it) while being a mom is one of the toughest challenges I’ve faced yet … and I’ve sat for multiple bar exams.

That is why I am so proud and excited to announce that I have partnered with Riva to co-publish “A Guide to Navigating and Negotiating Working Motherhood,” part one of a free and comprehensive three-part guide to help you navigate motherhood while being a working professional. Riva is an employee-first career advocacy platform. It uses technology and world-class negotiations expertise to help professionals achieve their best job offers and advance in their careers.

I don’t have it all figured out but I do know having knowledge and support helps tremendously. Having that has empowered me every step of my career while pregnant both times. I did not have a guide to make it seamless, though.

Thankfully, there are now resources such as Riva to help guide you to earn what you deserve, whether it be your salary and/or negotiating parental leave.

Be sure to check out the guide and share it with anyone who would find it useful!

My Dream Now (BIG ANNOUNCEMENT)

Filed Under: life change, motherhood, working mom // September 23, 2019

boys, babies, brothers, beach, summer 2019, working mom, summer with kids, lawyer mom, mom life, work from home

When I was about to return to work from maternity leave after having my firstborn, I thought I might want to be a stay at home mom. Since then, I have learned I want, or rather need, to work (whatever that might look like) in order to thrive as a mom, as a wife and as a person.

That being said, I have recently experienced a big career-related change.

In some ways, my decision feels like a long time coming. In others, it feels surreal.

I dreamt of attending law school and becoming a lawyer for as long as I can remember. I’m pretty sure it was as close to a lifelong dream as any. To have such a dream realized is indescribable, even if it came with a lot of student loan debt… I do not for one second regret any of my decisions. I am a true believer that each one has led me to the life I live today.

The thing is … that was my dream, then.

They are my dream, now.

These days, my life revolves around being the best mom I can be to my two babies and building upon a healthy marriage with my husband. That means I want to spend more time with my babies, and less time away from them. I want to bring them to play dates and story time, to make their meals, and to teach them things. I want to be more involved in their everyday lives, not just on weekends. I want to be more present.

That is why I have made a big decision and big life change.

I am leaving the legal field and I am transitioning to a work-from-home communications position (within the same organization).

My husband and I work hard and work together to create a life for our kids that is everything we hope it could be. So, I will continue working, just in a different capacity. I am nervous, excited, anxious and every other feeling you can imagine would come with a change this big.

Mostly, I am grateful to my employers for this opportunity, and to my husband and family for their support.

Boys, Mommy will be home with you full-time!

MOMtras: Working Mom Mantras

Filed Under: momtras, motherhood, working mom // March 19, 2019

While every mom does work, there are unique challenges, stress and emotions that come with working away from home and having to be physically apart from your child[ren] for most of the day.

Heading back to work from maternity leave is no easy feat. Many moms struggle. I know I did. I felt like I was having a panic/ anxiety attack leading up to my first return to work after realizing how soon that would be and calculating how many hours I’d be apart from my son.

It felt so unfair. I carried him for 40 weeks, I cared for him for 14 more, and then I was just suddenly supposed to feel okay about being apart from him for 40+ hours a week? Well, the truth is I wasn’t okay. I SOBBED that first morning, hyperventilating from crying so much, and I cried on the subway.

If you, too, have felt this way, I want to tell you that you’re in the good company of fellow moms. We know what it’s like and how much it can hurt. We also know it gets a bit easier (though never fully so), and that continuing on our career paths gives us an outlet and a sense of pride.

Personally, it took me some time to get used to my new working mom routine but it went better than I actually thought. Recently, my second return was not nearly as difficult as the first, though some new circumstances have contributed to that.

Leading up to my first return, I came up with a back-to-work plan of sorts — a few mantras, which I reminded myself of and which helped me.

I thought they might help some of you, too, as we continue the work week: