Moments of Musing

Why I Left Paradise

Filed Under: aloha, Chicago //

I am currently here in Chicago wondering if this place really gets warm weather. Is spring a thing here? And oh boy, summer seems like a huge myth — because it feels more like fall on the brink of winter around here. 

And it got me to thinking that maybe I should be somewhere with a longer spring/summertime. Why did I choose to live in a seemingly arctic zone again??? And then I realize I sound like other people. Because sometimes oftentimes, when I tell people that I briefly lived in Hawaii before moving to Chicago, they ask some kid of variation of the question, “Why would you ever leave Hawaii?” 
 
I’ve got to admit that sometimes I wonder the same darn thing. But mostly only on days when I’m missing T extra or have super stressful days. Never on my normal days. Because I am genuinely really happy here and, in my opinion, I left Hawaii for really good reasons.
 
For my dream job.
 
For my independence.
 
For the opportunity to live in a beautiful new city.
 
To be able to have a stable life when T gets out of the military.

Sure, living in paradise would be amazing, and I am so happy for those who get to do so. Ideally, I’d live there during winter months and live on the mainland all other months. But that sounds more like a retirement life and surprise, surprise I am nowhere close to retirement. 
 
So the next time I get asked this, I’ll just laugh like I always do, half in agreement but ultimately knowing in my heart I’ve done the best thing for myself, and for us.
 

 
Besides, who says Chicago, Illinois can’t be paradise, too? …Ha!
 
Now, where are ya Friday?! 

This One’s Different

Filed Under: aloha //

This past weekend I asked Tim if he’d miss me and he said he wasn’t losing me. I said, well, yeah but I’m leaving soon and he said but you’re not really going anywhere. My heart melted. I asked him about it the next day and he said you miss things you’ve lost and/or won’t get back. My heart melted again right about then. 

Now of course he’s told me he misses me when we’re apart but I was really touched by this conversation because he is so optimistic. It made me think about his optimism and the way he thinks about the distance, and it made me all the more grateful to have him as a partner throughout it all. 
His optimism is especially helpful since I leave Hawaii shortly, leaving a huge chunk of my heart behind, as well. And I know I will be homesick… because in so many ways, Tim has become my home. With him, I feel safe and warm and at ease. And most of all, I feel the most loved I’ve ever felt.
 
But this “see you later soon” is different than all the others and it’s much sweeter than it is bitter, too. I am leaving a more complete, accomplished, adventurous, loved, and in love person. Our relationship has matured and yet stayed similar more than I could’ve imagined. I couldn’t have asked for more from these past 2 months. 

Luckily, we will ::fingers crossed:: see each other very, very soon, and over the next months we will be building our life, which is to be joined permanently next summer!! Those thoughts are helping me very much right now. That along with… the many hours of traveling, work tasks and moving hundreds of miles that lie ahead!
 

QT

Filed Under: aloha //

 Tim has a 4-day weekend ::YAY!!!:: so I’ll be busy enjoying some quality time with him, away from this space and my phone {for the most part}. QT with Tim is actually one of the best things in my life so I want to be attentive in every moment. 
 
Other best things are a night cuddling on the couch with the love of my life; a pep talk from my parents; a call from my brother who’s away at college; a cup of coffee; a piece of chocolate; waking up to the sun beaming through the windows; being drenched in sweat after a successful work out; picking out fresh produce and foods; taking in the beauty of my surroundings …
 

 
This weekend I’m going to be sure to savor it all. I try my darned best to enjoy just about every “thing”, especially when I am with Tim, family and friends. I hope you do, too.
Have a happy weekend 🙂
 

Preparing for Onward Adventures

Filed Under: aloha, Chicago //

 
I’ve received start dates and I have a pretty solid time frame of when I’m moving to Chicago.
 
Which means I know when I’m leaving here, but more importantly Timmy.
I still have over a week but I can’t help the sad feeling of living life separately again.
Thank goodness I might see him at the end of the month and year.
And that he’ll be joining me in single digit months.
 
This is the dreaded, hardest part of our situation.
The [impending] “see you later” and the time in between each reunion.
I am so excited to be done with you, distance.
And despite everything, I am so excited for you, Chicago and for my new CAREER!
 

It’s Beginning to Look A Lot Like … Halloween!

Filed Under: aloha //

The weather might not feel like it here but it is October, the month of Halloween, which happens to be Timmy’s (and my dad’s!) birthday and favorite holiday. Last year he was deployed and the year before that he was living in the barracks because he’d just PCS’d to Hawaii. So I wanted to make this month special for him this year. I found a pumpkin patch here so after a quick trip to the mall for lunch and to see doggies at the pet store, we went pumpkin picking (which I really wanted to do with him last year) and also decorated the house 🙂 He even hid some fake spiders around the house to spook me haha! We ended the day by watching The Conjuring. It was quite possibly one of my favorite days spent here with Timmy 🙂
Image may contain: 2 people, outdoor and nature

Carving photos to come – when we carve away!